Teenagers...

It's amazing to me how I can have 4 "young adults" in my house and they all come from the same basic background but are so entirely different on everything.  From personality, to how they act, talk, behave... the list goes on and on.  


This week is Spring Break for my kids and unfortunately, for them and me, they are home most the day and not too pleased about it.  Now Pink spent a couple nights at her"friends" house (who is male but possibly gay?  We aren't sure) but she came back yesterday afternoon.  The Boy comes and goes with little (if any) interaction with anyone in this house.  Blue had been spending everyday with her boyfriend and went to the movies with him last night (no, I don't know what they saw) but today is pissy and slamming doors again.  Cassie had spent some time with a friend of hers for a couple days but they are now out of town so is moping around in her room looking like she's glued to her bed.  I feel like there is a black cloud hanging over this house.  


I, however, am doing ok.  I lost my voice around Friday and haven't found it again, but haven't heard any complaints about it from my family so I guess it's a good thing I can't hardly talk.  (LOL).  I am tackling one of my most dreaded chores today.... laundry!!!  ARGH I hate laundry with all my heart and soul.  I do my best to ignore it but it just sits there and taunts me daily when it's time to get dressed in the morning and I have no clue what is clean for Ladybug to wear and where it is (besides that huge hill on that side of the room by the closet doors).  I doubt I will get it all done and put away before it's time to pick up Ladybug from school.  


I have found that I enjoy listening to books on my ipod.  I particularly enjoyed this book by Nora Roberts called High Noon.  I have listened to several different books in the past few months and have noticed that some of the Narrators that read them take a little getting used to.  I listened to one a while back that the narrator sounded like the lady who did the Kaiser radio commercials.  So that's all I thought about the entire time I was listening to it.  


Anyway, I know this is the third Blog posting in a week but I feel my teenagers' behavior is worth mentioning.  Usually (at least with the younger two) if one of them is in a pissy mood the other one is not.  This goes along with, when one of them is getting along with me, talking to me, remembering that I exist, the other is not.  Usually I do not ever have two teenagers happy with me at the same time.  It just never happens.  I wish that were true with not being able to have two or more pissed off at the same time, but that would be asking too much I think.

007 is Nervous

I find it slightly humorous that 007 seems to think I will talk poorly of her on my Blog.  I printed out the Blog about her and gave it to her to read and since that day she has told me on more than one occasion not to say "something" on my blog.  LOL.  The thing is... I think the world of 007 and probably couldn't find fault with her even if I searched high and low, so I feel she has very little to worry about.  I already am not looking forward to the day that Ladybug no longer is in 007's class.  I will then have one less person that I enjoy talking to and will have to come up with "reasons" to come and talk with her even after my child is no longer at that school at all.  Life moves on but there are always those special people who touch your life and you know almost instantaneously that they can/will impact your life in supreme ways.  


My help was requested by 007 last Friday for the class Easter party.  I was the only parent helper there and felt privileged to be able to have the time and opportunity to help out again.  The kids had a great time that day.  Ladybug and I got there around 9AM while the kids were playing outside.  The kids practiced their Back to School Night songs out on the playground.  Ladybug was off her game but 007 said that was normal for having me there.  It's exciting to have your parent there.  I would think you would want to impress said parent that you were better than the rest of them but my child decided to try to impress me by not doing anything and being "too tired" to participate.  Needless to say I was not happy but I let 007 handle it and she did it with ease and a smile on her face the entire time.  Her cheeks have GOT to be sore by the end of the day!  


We then went inside so the kids could do circle time while I "helped" the Easter Bunny hide eggs.  Ladybug wanted to help too and was very disappointed that she didn't get the see the Easter Bunny too but the excitement of hunting for eggs was much superior to pouting.  I have to say I helped a couple of the kids (Ladybug) towards the end find the "hidden" eggs (the eggs not just scattered on the grass).  Never know if they would have found the last two on their own.  007 and I both took pictures but I haven't had a chance to check them out and print them for her.  

The kids got to play outside again while I went inside and helped set out the yummy food that some of the parents had brought.  007 did a fantastic job of decorating (I am not that creative).  All in all it was a great visit with the kids and I am looking forward to the next project.  Pterodactyl feeders (they are learning about dinosaurs next so it's that instead of Bird Feeders).  It should be lots of fun. 


Hopefully 007 will see that this Blog is all about good not bad and I would never dream to make her more nervous by posting bad things (as if there are any) about her.  I know and understand that teachers are "people" too.  That's what I like about her.  

Cassie and the Short Shorts

I have been fighting off a cold for a few days so my brain is a little ... plugged.  


This particular adventure starts on Friday.  I was driving Cassie and Ladybug home from a doctors appointment (Cassie was a follow up, Ladybug ended up with a cold and ear infection in her left (tubeless) ear).  We were taking the "long way" because I had to go through the Walgreens drive thru to get Ladybugs meds.  I was approaching a stop sign and noticed a teen aged girl walking down the street wearing the short jean shorts.  Now it was a hot 72 degrees on this fine April day and I can imagine how hot this young lady was.  I had a private thought to myself  "We started off with Adam and Eve who were naked all the time, then were clothed (overly so) through much of time until recently where we are wearing shorter, skimpier, tighter clothes and I wonder how long it will be until the next style will be just going naked all the time."  After thinking this I sort of laughed a bit to myself.  


Cassie jumped on me like a cat pouncing a mouse.  "What?"  she said.  I told her "Nothing, I was just thinking something that I am not going to say out loud."  (because I knew that no good could come of it.)  "It's mean to laugh at people and you shouldn't make fun of them either."  she said.  (OK now I have a mind reader in the car with me.  I am SO screwed.  The things she will for surely not want to know that I think about.)  I told Cassie that I was not making fun of her but just had a thought to myself that I thought was funny but that she would not. After a back and forth that seemed to last for hours but was probably only a few seconds I told her what I was thinking.  She said "Well they are just shorts and not that short."  I told her "If someone can see your butt cheeks or if you have to shave your hoo hoo hair so it's not seen when you wear said shorts, then they are WAY too short!"  She started to argue and I told her "Sometimes you just need to agree to disagree.  I feel that shorts that are that short are way too short and can't see why any girl would see them as comfortable enough to wear.  You may see things differently but that's how I feel."


She apparently thinks I am "sick and perverted" for thinking these thoughts.  I say this.  You can't change what people think.  If you don't want them thinking poorly of how you dress then you shouldn't dress like that.  BUT if it's only 72 degrees in April then the only reason you are dressing like that is for attention... and you got it. 


I tried to explain my thoughts to my husband.  He doesn't understand how they could be uncomfortable.  OK having a double wedgey whenever you sit down or move wrong is not a good thing.  But to each their own I guess.  

The best intentions and well laid plans....

So I had this idea.  It had been about two weeks since I borrowed the weed eater from my mom and I had to return it.  I had also received some bulbs to plant in her back yard so I figured Two Birds One Stone.  I discussed this with mom and we came up with this plan.  I would come down to her place (about 80 miles away) on Saturday so garden and she would make lunch (spaghetti and garlic bread... YUMMY).  As the weekend was creeping closer and I was still occupied with other things (like Cassie coming home on Friday, doctors appointments for Blue and Ladybug, an Eye Appointment for Baby... I mean Hubby, contacting Cassie's school to update her teachers as to what was going on, etc) I was trying to make a mental list of the things I was going to need.


I figured it wasn't that hard.  I needed all my outside tools like shovel, rake, the special cool garden tools like the Garden Weasel, in addition to my garden wagon, gloves, bulb food, etc.  On Friday night I called my parents house and was mildly surprised when after several rings my Dad picked up the phone.  Dad hardly ever picks up the phone and is always very uncomfortable sounding on the phone as well.  We can usually talk about 3 minutes and then I either get off the phone or ask for my Mom. He's just not a phone person.  So he picks up and I figured my mom didn't want to talk because she had a rough day at work.  I ask Dad "I was calling to see if Mom wants me to bring anything else tomorrow."  He said, "Sure bring whatever you want!"  (really it was a courtesy, I was bringing flowers, plants, bulbs and working but I wouldn't have minded bringing a dessert or whatever.)


So I told him "Well I am bringing a bunch of plants, bulbs, and all my equipment in addition to the weed eater.  We will be there tomorrow in the morning sometime.  I will see what I can bring for dessert.  I was thinking of bringing some compost and some old coffee grounds from Starbucks since the snails and slugs don't like caffeine and will stay away from the plants that way.  After the bulbs bloom then you can tell me what else you would like to see back there and I will see what I can do."  He said, "I like those little flowers you put in the back last year, the only ones the damned snails didn't eat.  Hardy plant."  (LOL, damned snails ate at least 3-4 other plants that I had put in before we were able to put snail bait out there.  Pissed us all off.)  I got off the phone with Dad and went down to the store.  I got some stuff to make a White Chocolate, Chocolate Fudge pudding Oreo pie, picked up a pizza with a Groupon coupon that I had and then after checking with Starbucks (no grounds at that time) I went home.


Ladybug and I ate.  Hubby was getting Cassie from SF, Blue was out at her boyfriends house, Pink (the vegetarian) was in her room and who knows where The Boy was.  After getting Ladybug in bed, hubby and Cassie walked in.  Hubby wanted to see Ladybug and Cassie wanted to see her new shorter hair.  Cassie was amazed (like all the other people have been) as to how short it is and how cute she looks.  I finally got Ladybug back into bed and talked with Hubby a while and packed some spare clothes in a backpack for the next day.  I wasn't about to be caught unprepared and wanted to make sure that all I had to do was put things in the van the next day.  So in went spare clothes for Ladybug and me (I anticipate a shower when I am done in the backyard for myself at least), a bunch of DVD's to keep Ladybug occupied for the drive and possibly in the house while I am outside.  


I set the backpack by the door with the garden wagon that had the gloves, bulbs, bulb food, etc. with it.  I figured I was ok to go to bed at this point.  So off I went for a restless night in bed.  I go back and forth between sleeping great then having a lot of problems (night hallucinations, bad dreams, insomnia etc.), right now I am in the "problems sleeping" phase and I hope it goes back to sleeping good very soon.  Of course if my stress level doesn't go down I am screwed but I digress... 


The next morning at 6:36 Ladybug comes into my room and tells me it's time to get up, make breakfast and get ready to go to Gram's house.  ARGH!  It's Saturday and way too early to go to my Mom's.  I try to explain this to Ladybug and get her to go back to bed.  That wasn't going to happen.  So I got up, made her something to eat (cereal?  breakfast burrito?  I can't remember but it wasn't ice cream) and put a movie on for her.  I got myself dressed, put out Ladybugs clothes, and fixed my pudding pie then put it in the fridge.  I kissed Hubby goodbye (he was working) and set outside to start unloading Hubby's work stuff from the van and loading up my stuff that I would need for the day.  I called Starbucks and asked them if they had any grounds and they didn't have enough yet.  So I took an old kitty litter bucket and put some compost in there.  After I was able to get the weed eater, wagon, compost, tools, backpack (mine and Ladybugs) into the van I went inside to get Ladybug dressed and ready to go.  


I had set her clothes out but she insisted that she had to wear a dress to Gram's and was looking for some "soft tights" to go with it.  Lord if I know where they were, I had planned for jeans and a shirt.  She was looking through the bag of clothes that I was giving to Pumpkin (Ladybugs younger cousin by a year) trying to find the tights and finally settled on the scratchy pair.  We got her dressed, hair brushed and out into the van with the movie in ... and this is where it goes to heck... 


The movie wouldn't play.  We have had some problems with the DVD player but can't afford to get it looked at or replaced.  So I backed up into the driveway and went back inside to get the CD player cleaning CD I got a month ago.  I tried to put that in and fix the DVD player but it wouldn't work.  So I started out again after I tried the DVD again and it worked.... I get a little down my drive and ask Ladybug if she's seen my purse (I needed to get gas, no purse means we were stuck when it ran out and it would before getting home). She said no she hadn't but sees my backpack.  So we backup again into the driveway.  I get out and get my purse.  I stand there and think, "Now do I have everything I need?!?  Purse, weed eater, compost, tools, bulbs, bulb food, plants.... uh plants... OK gotta get the plants!!"  I grabbed the plants and the purse, locked the door (for the 3rd time) and got into the van.  My neighbor had text messaged me "LOL... you need to make a list!!!"  OK how embarrassing is that?  Bad enough I knew I was a ditz but to have someone else (besides Ladybug) witness it?  I replied back "Yeah your telling me... I think I have everything now"


I called my Mom on the way out "Hi Mom, I am leaving my house right now, I am stopping by Rose's work to pick up the carpet cleaner, going to Starbucks, and need to get gas, so I will be there in between 11- 11:30 ok?"  She asks "Did you remember the weed eater?"  I stop the van and look in the back, "Yeah that was the first thing I put in the van."  I start driving slowly again.  She asks "And the pictures?"  Huh?  "Pictures?!  What Pictures?!?!"  I ask.  She laughs and says "The pictures of Ladybug that you said you would give me?"  "SH!T!!!!  I gotta go back again!!  I already went back twice because I forgot something.  My neighbor must think I am a complete idiot by now."  Mom was laughing her butt off.  I clicked off saying I would be there later.  Ran inside, got the pictures, text the neighbor again that I was sure I had everything now, thought again "Now, do I have everything!?!?!?.... Yup" and got back into the van and drove off.  


I was driving down the road close to my house and Hubby text messages me "You Home?"  "Nope!" I reply. He calls me "So, how far away are you?"  "Down the street but I am not going back, I went back three times and I am not going back now regardless of what the reason is!"  Hubby seemed a little taken aback by my statement " I was just wondering"  Ladybug and I went through the Starbucks drive thru for some coffee (decaf for her).  I checked how many miles I had before I needed to get gas and decided to get gas later.  I was on my way!!  I get about 15 minutes away from the house, on the freeway when it hits me "Oh Crap!  I forgot the weed eater string!!"  I text my Mom, "I forgot the weed eater string so I will stop by OSH to get you some more before I come over."  Mom text back "LOL! CYA in a while"  Ten minutes later and further down the freeway it hits me "OH SH!T! I forgot the pudding pie!!!"  I text mom telling her that I am glad that my head is connected because I forgot the "pue".  She text back, "Maybe I shld be glad - pudding pue doesn't sound good. LOL!"  I was cracking up.  Great stress relief.  I was irritated with myself but good Lord I had tried my best.  


We got to my cousin Rose's work early so as I was going to call her she called me and confirmed we were meeting at 11:15 (in about 30 minutes).  I said "Yeah that's good.  I am on the road to your work now but I will come back at 11:15."  I actually ended up right behind her truck as she was driving out for lunch!  We met at the gas station so I could give her Pumpkin's bag of clothes.  I gave her a hug and went on to my parents house.  We were early!!!  I knocked on the door and I heard my Dad say "GG and Ladybug are here."  I hear Mom say something but couldn't make it out.  Dad said, "Yes they are, they are at the door."  


At this point I was doing the potty dance on their front step.  Good Lord I know men can't do two things at once but talk and unlock the door at the same time!!  He finally let us in and I told Ladybug to use the first bathroom and rushed passed my Mom and told her I was using her bathroom (I couldn't wait, the Frappuchino was too much).  I felt SO much better.  I heard Ladybug talking to someone in the other bathroom and wondered what she was talking about.  She often sings or whatever in the bathroom so I figured that was it.  


We unloaded the van and Ladybug had brought a Memory Stone kit to see if she could convince her Granddad to help her with it.  I was pleasantly surprised when he readily agreed.  While they did that Mom and I went to pick up the carpet cleaner, coffee grounds and the weed eater string.  When we got back Ladybug and Granddad were in the backyard.  


We got to work.  We stopped for a yummy lunch and worked some more.  I think I was out there from 12-4 with a little lunch break.  I got the back flower beds weeded and put in the 50 bulbs that I got for their back yard.  We spread the coffee grounds and put the snails that were hanging on the fence onto the grounds.  I was going to try to put some seedling plants in the front but was just too tired.  So I put everything away in the van and while I was doing that I noticed Hubby's watch sitting under the passenger seat.  He has been missing his watch and his wedding ring for about three weeks now and swore up and down that it was in the house by his desk or his dresser but he was busy working and couldn't look for it.  Amazing when I picked up the watch and found the ring attached to it.  


We had a great visit with my parents and made it back home by 6:30 that night.  I was sore and tired but was glad that I was able to get them all planted.  I still have about 48 bulbs to plant in my own yard but I can't wait to see what they all look like in the summer.  

Ladybug, Growing Up

My little girl is growing up right before my eyes.  When you are with them everyday you don't notice it as much until you see the pictures from the year before or even earlier.  Wow.  She amazes me my little Ladybug.  She has many great qualities, and some not so great ones too.  She comes by her stubbornness very honestly through my side of the family (MOM!)  She's very pig headed but then again, so am I.  We often bump heads.  


She's so funny.  I "spank" her (playfully) all the time.  I mention "I'm gonna spank my Ladybug!" and she will scream "No!" but then tell me "Do it!" and turn her bottom towards me.  LOL.  Then her Daddy will say "Did I hear it's time to spank a Ladybug!" and she will scream "NO" and freak out running around like she's really scared.  Here's the funny part.  He's never really spanked her in real life as a punishment and I have spanked her numerous times for numerous reasons, often (when she was younger especially) so you would think that of the two of us she would be more afraid of me because she knows that I will actually spank her.  


So yesterday as I was reading her a bedtime story I noticed that a little part of her hair in the front was a lot shorter than it had been before.  Not sure when she cut it but she did.  So I asked her about it.  She denied cutting it and said it must have happened the first time she cut her hair (BS).  As far as I can tell she's cut her own hair three times by herself.  So I asked her again, if she wanted it cut.  She said she didn't.  But when I was taking out her rubber bands that night I jokingly told her that I would just cut off the pony instead and she said "Do it Mommy, do it!"  (A little mixed signals don't you think.)  She has alternately told me that she wants her hair just like mine and then again that she wants to keep it long. Then she tells me that she wants it Long and Short.  (whatever that means).  


After I dropped her off at school this morning I researched Children's Hair Cuts in my area and found that there were three, two of which were highly rated.  I called and talked two the two and picked the one that had the best deal and was closest to her preschool.  I picked up my darling girl and took her there after school at 4pm.  I sat her down with a book and told her to look at the pictures and tell me which ones she liked and that she would want on her own hair.  She got maybe, possibly, three pages into the book and picked one that's just like mine (I have a Bob cut).  I asked several times if she was sure... she said that YES she was sure.  So I had her take the book and tell the lady that was going to cut her hair.  


Now my baby girl has her Daddy's eyes and hair.  Hubby is losing his hair and it's VERY thin. I have very thick hair and a lot of it (thank God) and my friend who cuts my hair every 4-6 weeks, depending on how long I can stand it, says that she could shave my head and I would still have a lot of hair.  So even though I do my daughters hair on occasion I figured she had more her Daddy's hair than mine.  So the hair person (who BTW wasn't my friend.  I wanted a kids place to do it the first time and then my friend who does my hair can do it next time) took out the rubber bands and started to comb through it and the first thing she said was "Wow, you have a lot more hair and it's longer than I thought it was."  (it was about a little lower than mid back.)  

I told her that we wanted it to look like a Bob cut but a little longer to her shoulders.  (That's a lot of hair off.)  I also asked if she could cut it so I could keep the hunk of hair that she was chopping off.  So she turned on a movie for my little girl to watch, we put her into the toy car chair and she watched TV while they cut her hair and did great!  I thought the cut looked very cute and hoped that she would too.  She said that she liked it.  Got some glitter in her hair and a free barrette too.  


I got a bottle of glitter to take home.  I take some pictures with my phone and camera to send to family and as I am buckling the seat belt she says "Mommy, I don't want my hair cut." OMG WAY too late for that statement!  I talked to her about it on the way home that I thought it was very cute, that if she wanted to grow it long she could, just not to cut it anymore herself.  I was surprised that she didn't cry or throw a fit.  I figured she would.  


The nights young however, and after her movie is over and she takes a bath it might come.  I hope not though.  I think she looks Prettier than a Princess.  

Updates - Cassie and the Memorial

We got to the ER at 7:30 on Friday night.  I was thinking for sure I was going to be there forever because the waiting room was PACKED.  We sat down and Cassie said I looked exhausted (nice of her to notice, even when she was wanting to hurt herself.)  She said I could always nap in the waiting room.  Nope not that tired yet.  Anyway, I was very surprised when we got taken back with in 20 minutes of arrival.  She was shown a bed in the hallway and there were three security guards watching her.  Cassie and I were joking around together (it's my coping technique).  The doctor came and talked with me.  She told me that they had to do a physical check (blood, urine, etc.) to make sure she was healthy before they could take her to the facility (if that's what the Psych person wanted).  I asked the doctor, "Ok, not to sound cold hearted but how long are we talking about?  I was here this morning with my 4 year old at 4 and only had two hours of sleep.  Is there anyway to speed up the process?"  She said that the Psych person was already called out because there were other cases in there too that needed to be seen and she would do the best she could to make sure that we were seen ASAP.  About 20-30 minutes after the doctor walked away another nice lady came up and had some paperwork.  She was from Psych and talked to Cassie by herself while I went to the internal ER waiting room (a lot less people there).  


They talked for about 15-20 minutes and Cassie was admitted for a 72 hour hold (it's called a 5150) for wanting to harm herself.  We went through this same thing with Blue so I am familiar with the procedure somewhat.  I am very proud of Cassie.  She didn't try to deny needing help (Blue did MANY times when she would tell us that she wanted to hurt herself and die but then would say differently when we got to the ER so they wouldn't take her).  I talked to Cassie after we left the doctors (she thought for sure I would be mad) and told her that I wasn't mad but I would be if we got to the ER and she tried to tell them that she wasn't having any problems.  (That makes for a very long night when that happens). Anyway, she did great.  They kept her and I was walking to my car, talking to my mom on the phone by 9 o clock that night.  Not bad at all for a Friday night at the ER.  They said they would try to find her a bed.


The next morning while I was getting ready to go to the Memorial for Ladybug's old daycare watcher who died of Cancer after he had fought it off and on for more than 4 years, I called the hospital to find out where they had sent Cassie for treatment.  They said she was still there because they hadn't found a place that had a bed available to her.  Wonderful.  


I had asked Blue to help watch Ladybug for me because Cassie was away (she knew why), my husband and Pink were both working so they couldn't do it and I would never EVER let The Boy watch her.  Blue has been in a very bad mood for almost 3 weeks now.  I have tried to talk to her to find out why and if there was anything that I could do to help but she said there wasn't anything I could do but then proceeds to stomp around, slam doors and talk angrily to people, especially Ladybug.  I didn't want to leave Ladybug with Blue in that kind of mood but thought it was important that I go to the Memorial to support the family and to grieve myself. 


The Memorial was ... hard.  Although Ladybug has been going to a new daycare/preschool for 6 months, he and his wife were a HUGE part of our lives for 3 years.  They were part of the support system that I needed during some very hard times of life with my family and kids.  There is a lot I remember about him and it's hard to think about how he's not here anymore.  I still haven't told Ladybug yet.  I plan to do it today.  


I remember when I was younger and went to funerals for older family members I used to giggle throughout the service ... I thought that's how I dealt with grief and death.  Somehow that's changed.  I wouldn't have thought I would have had as hard a time at this one as I did.  But to my credit I went alone, without my husband (he had to work) and just did the best I could.  We were told that this was a celebration of life and they didn't want people "crying and blubbering".  Yeah that's gonna happen.  I think I did OK.  


After the Memorial there was a Reception at one of the kids houses. I text messaged Blue to find out how things were going because I wanted to go.  All I got was a "FINE".  (Angry tone read into that).  When I called Hubby, he had come back home and about to leave.  He said she was doing fine, watching a movie.  So I went to the reception, talked to some of the other daycare moms, we remembered him together and all the things he did for the kids.  We talked to his wife who still has the daycare open and looked at pictures, read letters from the family to him.  I think it went as well as it could go.  


On my way home I noticed I had a voice mail from the hospital.  They said they found a bed for Cassie and needed some information to discharge her so they could get her over there.  I called back with the info the needed and asked where they were sending her and they said to a hospital in San Francisco!!!  I mentioned that was a wee far from here (a 2 hour drive, and I HATE driving in SF).  They said they couldn't find a closer bed and we were lucky because if they hadn't had a bed, they would have had to send her to Southern CA.  We have to go pick her up.  


I talked to Cassie last night after she got there.  She said that the drive was long but it was okay.  I talked to her again this morning and she said they have group, she has a roommate, they took her shoes (Smile) but that she's doing okay. She has always had problems talking to people, especially in a group but she said she's trying very hard to talk so she can get help.  I am very proud of her.  She said she misses me, which is funny because if she were home this weekend I probably wouldn't have seen her much, if at all.  The older kids in my house usually stick to their room if they are home.  I miss her too.  I am glad she's doing what she can to get help though.  


Looks like Tuesday will be a road trip to SF.  Hubby has some jobs in the area so he will work while I do the family meeting and I guess read my book waiting for him to finish his jobs and come pick us up.  Not sure how we are going to work that out with picking up Ladybug before 6pm but we will do the best we can.  It's all we can do.  


On a lighter note.  After the Memorial yesterday I went out and did some weed eating (thanks mom for loaning me that weed eater).  Then took some pictures.  The picture you see at the beginning of this Blog is one of a baby ladybug on a tulip.  Turned out pretty good I think.  I submitted it to Kodak to see if they will select it for their Kodak Moment for April.  You never know.  


I did some more weed eating again today (about 90 minutes more) and still have more yet to do.  But it's relaxing to me so that's okay.  I am sore and tired but in a good way.  


I wish that life would lighten up some more.  I would like to get a good job (would love to work from home), to know that our lease is renewed for the house, get permission to have some sheep come eat up the weeds in the field around the house, find someone to install the dishwasher (thanks again mom) and put in the counter to top it off, get the bills paid off for good and keep up with them, and have time to just watch the flowers grow, without having the kids be so down, depressed and wanting to hurt themselves.  Am I asking for too much??  

In my house when it rains.... it snows!

I know I said this post would be about my Husbands fantasy world but... well other stuff has come up.  I will submit that Blog post very soon I promise.  I am still working on the final touches.


Anyway... here goes.

Last night was a nightmare.  Right around bedtime Ladybug started complaining that her ear hurt.  She has a history of ear infections and has had tubes put in twice and the left tube fell out about 2 months after the last placement.  She hasn’t had many problems since and this has been about a year ago that the tube fell out.  However, she was going on and on about how badly her ear hurt.  I finally gave her some Tylenol.  She got up about 30 minutes later telling me that her ear still hurt and it was going into her jaw to her nose.  I tried a heating pack, gave her some Liquid Melatonin and that had her sleeping for about 3 hours before she woke again, with more pain.  Now this was about midnight.  I had been asleep for less than 2 hours and was very tired.  I gave her more Tylenol, re-heated the heating pack and sent her back to bed.  She got up 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 50 minutes later and so on til about 3:30 when I had enough and decided to take her into the ER. 

After waiting there for 3 hours and finally being seen by an ER Dr. it was determined that she had pressure behind her ear drum and the scarring from her tube that is no longer there makes it more painful than it would normally be.  He gave her Ibuprofen and sent us home.  I tried to get her to lay down and take a nap when we got home around 7ish but since she slept for about half the time we were waiting, she wasn’t tired.  So I am going on two hours of sleep, have had Ladybug all day because the insane doctor thinks that because that because of ear pressure she couldn’t/shouldn’t go to school and in addition to all that I had to take Cassie to the doctor for a standard check-up and follow-up for depression.  He has told me that I need to take her to the ER tonight to have her evaluated for thoughts of harming herself.  She wants to be admitted somewhere so she can get help.  So this is a pit stop at home so she can eat, shower and pack some clothes, just in case they admit her for a 72 hour hold.  It’s almost time for Ladybug to go to bed.  Pink is going to watch her and put her to bed for me so I can take Cassie to the ER and wait to see what they are going to do with her.  She has already told me that she understands that eventually I won’t be there with her and I am going to have to go home without her if they decide to keep her.  She also said that if they don’t keep her she will be pissed.  Been there and done that before.  I can completely understand where she is coming from. 

Tomorrow I have a memorial for one of Ladybug’s old daycare people who died from cancer.  There is never a good time for any of this to happen but still… someone please tell me that this day is almost over and I will be able to go to sleep soon!

I feel like this is all payback for how I was as a teenager.  Depressed, moody and awful to be around.  I just hope all this is not preparing me for how Ladybug is going to be.  Please Lord, let this be my penance for my teenaged behavior.  I have learned my lesson I swear!!!