A Clean Potty

Ladybug will be 5 on Thanksgiving this year.  We used to shower together (because it was easier), now she showers alone.  Like any child she has some "problems" at times with her "Potty" (that's what she calls her vagina).


For instance, I would say 7 out of 10 times she will go potty and forget to wipe.  She also likes to touch herself (again very normal for her age) and with this she sometimes get a little red.


That being said, tonight she was taking a shower and when she was done I go to check on her (still in the shower).


I ask:
Are you done?


Ladybug:
Yes


Me:
OK then it's time to get out then...  What's wrong?


Ladybug (as she's looking at her Potty)
My Potty is red.


Me:
And why is your Potty red?  (expecting her to tell me she didn't wipe and touched her Potty.)


Ladybug:
Because I touched it.


Me:
Then shouldn't you stop touching your Potty then?


Ladybug:
I was washing it Mommy.  Because there was Yucky Stuff on there.


Me:
Oh, well that's good then.  You should wash your Potty just like Mommy does.


Ladybug:
But Mommy, you can't see the Yucky Stuff on your Potty because you have Fur and I'm little so I can see the Yucky Stuff on my Potty.


Priceless Moments of being a Mom.

Texting Mess Up

I am happy to say that this wasn't me this time, it was my husband!


We were driving down to my parents house for our annual Pumpkin Carving Party the weekend before Halloween.  Blue and Ladybug were in the back seat of our Jetta.  I'm driving.  We are about half way into our 1 hour and 15 minute trip when I get this text from my husband (who is sitting next to me).


I'm Horny


I laugh softly and don't say anything (the kids are in the back and one I'm sure is listening to everything that is said).  


Hubby says


You won't believe who I sent that to before I sent it to you.


Me:
OMG!  (laughing) Who?


Hubby:
The Boy


Me:
(Hysterical laughter) What did he say?!?!


Hubby:
He said "Thanks?"


Me: 
(Laughing so hard I can't talk)


Hubby:
I text him back and said "Oops sorry that was a joke for somebody else.  LOL Sorry."


Then The Boy replies "Yes...I'm sure...."  "We'll never speak of this again"


Me nearly crying with laughter:
OMG I think I need to pull over.


Hubby:
I text him back and said only "Agreed"


Blue asked what Hubby sent and I told her honestly... 
You don't want to know, trust me, it might scar you for life.


That seriously made my trip, my day, my week and I still smile when I think of it.  I made him text me the entire text conversation so I could be sure to get the words right when I wrote this.  He reluctantly did so, 


He said horrified
You're going to tell people!?!


I said laughing:
Of course... there is no way that I can't share this!

Playing Second Fiddle

As Mothers we all have those moments where we feel like we are playing second fiddle.  When they are teenagers you are surely second to all their friends and influences from TV and the internet.  But when they are little.... there are other things/people that are higher than you are.

The other day while driving Ladybug to school with Pink the the front seat, Ladybug says:

Mommy!  I miss my Daddy.


I say:

I know Honey, he misses and loves you too.


Ladybug says:

He's my favorite!


I say:

Your favorite what?  (she has said he's her favorite Daddy before)

Ladybug says:

He's my favorite person!  


My thought... "OMG, I do EVERYTHING for you, cook, clean, make sure you are fed, loved and comfortable in life and he's your FAVORITE!?"

I say:

That's wonderful Ladybug.


Damn... I am SO proud of myself.

The facts of ... that time of the month

I thought that I would have more time with my little Ladybug (who is going to be 5 on Thanksgiving this year) before I had to explain to her about a period.  But damn... kids are very curious and tenacious, she never gives up.  


Tonight was the night.  I have been on my period for a while (long story I am not going to explain to the masses... just a few select friends  :~) and I didn't put away the box of tampons, it was still on the counter in the bathroom.  While Ladybug was getting ready to brush her teeth tonight she asked:


Mommy?  What are these for?


As the points to the box of tampons.... I say:


Those are tampons, you will learn about those when you get older.


Ladybug says:


But I want to learn about it, now, today.


I sigh in my head and think... I know my friends have explained this to their children at this age (and younger), I guess it's about time I explain things to her.  So I told her a condensed version of when she will have a period and why.  Maybe now I won't have incidences like this one:


We were at the movies a while back, I had to go to the bathroom.  We went into the handicapped stall because it's me and Ladybug and we need the room.  She goes first.  So when I am going she's standing there with me and says:


Mommy!!!  You poo-pooed in your panties!!!


I had started my period.  Then she says (as her first comment is echoing all around the bathroom for what seems like eternity but had to only been a second or so):


Mommy, why is it red?  Are you bleeding!!


At this point I tell her to please be quiet and look at the door (so I can take care of this myself).  


Another time we were in the bathroom out in public she says:


Mommy!!!  I see your hair on your Potty!!


OMG, it's not like I can have her wait for me when there is a lot of people in the bathroom, she has to come in the stall.... but I think from now on I will have her face the door while I go to the bathroom.

It's the simple things...

You know when you buy new pants and they usually will come with an extra button in a tiny bag in case one of the buttons falls off and gets lost?  Well I had just bought some new pants (for the new job... YEAH!) and never would I have dreamed that the extra button would make the impact that it did.


The other night, after Ladybug's bath, I was trying to get her to dry off, put panties and jammies on and get ready for stories before bed.  She is drying off when she stops and says:


Mommy!  What is that!


Never mind, just please dry off and get dressed, do what you need to do so we can read stories and go to bed.  


Mommy!  That is the most beautiful button I have ever seen!!  Can I open the bag and see it?


Ladybug, if you would just get dressed, brush your hair and your teeth, you can keep the button if you want.


REALLY!!!  Thank You Mommy!  You're the BEST Mommy EVER!

Text Message Mistake

There are sometimes when my stupidity amazes even me.  


Last night, at 8:37PM, I sent my mom this text:


"Earlier when I went to the girls room to talk to Cassie I opened the door and it smelled really really bad like someone had either bad gas or pooped in there.  Awful!"


at 8:38PM I receive this message from Cassie:


"Umm you sent that to me... And its Oreo's cage (Guinea Pig), I was gonna clean it today but didn't."


OMG, how embarrassing!  I seriously wanted to hide and never talk to her again.  But I replied with this:


"Cud u please please clean it soon?  I wasn't sure if u were sick or there something wrong in there.  Not like it's easy talking to someone about that kind of thing."


Then sent this one again right after that one:


"Also very sorry about that text."


She replied:


"You thought that was ME!?"


I relied:


"Wasn't sure what or who it was.  To be honest I thought your dad had spent time in there and farted a lot.  Smile.  Was kinda worried."


She relied:


"LOL its alright I'm not upset, I'll clean it tomorrow morning."


"Ok glad you're not sick or dying!  Smile.  Poor Me... I sleep in the same room as your Dad even when he has gas.  Yuck.  But its a part of getting older."


She replied:


"That sucks :/ lol haha you will get there.  Smile"


I replied:


"So will you!  LOL"


Wow... that whole situation could have turned out SO much worse than it did!  I still don't see how a guinea pig's cage can smell like human gas but oh well.  She says it wasn't her, I guess I will take her word for it.. this time.  


I never did send that text to my mom.

Cassie's Boyfriend

Ok Hubby told me that I needed to blog this and see what others say.  Cassie is 15 years old and has a boyfriend.  A couple months ago she talked to me about getting Birth Control because they were talking about having sex.  


She stated "I'm not ready and I have told him that but I would like to be prepared for when I am ready."


Ok... So I took her to the doctor and put her on the pill, handed her some condoms and gave her the talk.  You know "The Talk" about how she should wait and give this relationship time before jumping into a physical relationship with him.  


She said "Yeah, I wanna wait and he says he's ok with it.  It's my first time but he's done it before with his ex-girlfriends."  


HOLY CRAP that's plural!  I know it's not at the same time but Jesus this kid is about 16 years old.  Anyway... can we say Man Slut!  And he's trying to talk my daughter into it?!?!  


OK again, I know she will have sex when she's ready.  That might have already happened by now or it might happen today.  I understand that there is nothing I can do to stop it.  So I have resolved myself to this fact to educate her as much as possible and hope for the best.  


That being said, here is what the guy looks like.  In an effort to afford privacy and anonymity I shall do my best to describe him and not put his picture up instead.


The guy is over 6 foot tall and very "bulky".  He has shoulder length hair that is white on the top crown of his head and auburn the rest of the way down and it looks like it's been at least a couple weeks since it was washed... EVERY time I see him.  He has a bottom lip ring.  He smokes.  On their first official date on Monday (they have been dating for a couple months now but this was a date not just hanging out) Cassie dressed up in a nice green dress, did her hair and makeup in an effort to look nice for him.  He.... wore a band shirt.  


My main thought is/was "And she wants to possibly have sex ... with that?!?!?!?"  She can completely do better.  A lot better if she herself would make sure to wash her hair the way she should so it didn't look so greasy all the time, if she would ask me to trim her bangs before they hit the end of her nose so you could see her pretty face and beautiful eyes.  Tell me what is the point in putting on eye make up if your hair covers it anyway?


But we have all had those guys that when looking back we think "OMG what was I thinking?!?!"


Ok I can tell you what we were thinking.  "I am young and I have no self esteem.  This is the best that I can get.  No one better will want me.  So I will take what I can get."


Now hopefully my girls (all of them have semi poor choices in guys, except Ladybug who really liked a nice little boy in preschool... but I digress) will grow up and realize that they can do better and look for someone better.  


Cassie told me a while back that her BF was going to have to move to a town that is about 18 miles and more than 30 minutes away by car.  I had such high hopes that this would just be a summer romance (even though it started before summer) and he would move away and they would drift apart and find other people.  Then she pops that bubble and tells me:


"Oh no.  He is going to be transferring to my school.  He is getting his license and will be driving there from Rancho."  


What the heck is his mother thinking!?!  "Ok I am going to move because I found a cheaper place but I am going to give my son (who has poor grades) a car and gas money to drive back to the city we currently live in so he can go to the same school as his girl friend."


God help us that it doesn't last.  There is no way that I would EVER do that for ANY of my kids.  It's high school.  If it's meant to be they will last through the distance.  If it's not meant to be ... they will find someone else.


So anyway, like I said, I have never said anything negative about this kid... to Cassie.  I know that would never ever be a good idea.  I have tried to get this point across to my husband and I failed.  Last night as I am getting Ladybug ready for bed I hear him in the older girls room.  


"Cassie.  I know you like him and I keep trying to think what bothers me about him.  I think it's his hair.  He needs to cut his hair.  No respectable man would have hair like that.  Back when I was young you only had long hair if you were a bum or homeless."


Or something similar to that.  While he was talking I was thinking "OMG you are so dumb!  Don't do this.  Shut up, shut up, shut up!!"


After he was done I called him in the bedroom and shut the door.  I told him:


"I know you don't like him and think she can do better.  I agree.  However, unless you want to push her to sleep with him, then I would suggest you never ever say anything negative about her choice in men again."


We had a long chat were I used that line a couple times.  He finally said


"Ok you have got to stop saying that.  I think when you say that you need to bite your tongue so hard that a huge chunk comes off.  You should only be able to make statements like that once a year."


LMAO!  Let's all say it together.  Denial!!!  If I don't think about it, it's not happening.  


Heck I have a 4 year old and I think up til the time I got pregnant my Dad still probably wanted to believe that I was a virgin, but he is a little realistic about things and probably knew I wasn't.  I personally think that the mothers that I know are more practical and realistic about the life of their children.  Men, are sissies.  


I think this Blog has turned out differently than my Husband expect.  I don't think I will advise him to read it.  He doesn't know she's on Birth Control.  

Kidney Infection

It's been a while since I have written anything and for those of you who don't know (and I am thinking most of you do) the reason for this has been an extremely painful Kidney Infection.  


Now, let me start off with I know I have a very high pain threshold and can usually stand to ignore pain.   I was in labor all day on Thanksgiving Day with no one the wiser, as I helped prepare the meal for my kids in between contractions.  My husband didn't even know until 9:30 that night, that I was in labor.  I went to the hospital the next morning at 8 and went through labor as long as I could stand it until 12 when I got my epidural (Thank God for that!) and had my beautiful little pain in the ass girl at 4:08 PM the Friday after Thanksgiving in 2006.  


I am of the opinion, personally, that labor is much better than a Kidney Infection.  First thing is, with labor, at least I knew what it was!  I wasn't sure what was wrong with me with the KI, I had back pain that started on Tuesday night after Ladybug was in bed, then the achiness that you get with a fever but no real fever until the next afternoon, my feet were ice cold no matter what I did and I was nauseous.  Even though I am on the 5 year birth control plan... I thought I might be pregnant because the cold feet and everything else (besides back pain) was just like my first trimester.  By Thursday I could not deal with the pain any longer.  I got Pink to watch Ladybug and off I went to the Rite Aid Sutter Express Care center.  They told me to go to Urgent Care (which didn't open for a couple more hours). 


My cousin Rose called me on my way back home and told me that she thought I had a Kidney Infection.  I decided to go to Urgent Care anyway because the pain was so intense and non-stop, (unlike labor which comes and goes) that I knew that since Advil, Tylenol, and Aleve weren't helping at all that I needed better pain drugs at minimum.  


An hour or so later I was waiting in the hallway for the Urgent Care to open, pacing back and forth because at least the pain was a bit bearable if I wasn't standing still.  I finally was seen about 40 minutes later.  The guy that took my weight etc. greeted me like an old friend "Hey!  It's been a while since we saw you.  How are the kids!"  My thought is it's a great thing that they haven't seen me, means my kids and I are mostly healthy.   


I was in the room for about 15 minutes before the Dr came in.  I had seen him before and when he came in he said "Hi! How are you doing?"  I figured he meant generally "doing" not currently, since I was there.  We chatted a bit about how things were going and he took my blood pressure and it was 120/68 which is AWESOME for me.  I was thrilled.  He asked me to leave a "sample" for them to test.  After I was done and back in my room I text messaged my husband and my mom this:


"My blood pressure was AWESOME at 120/68, but I peed orange.  That can't be good."


The doctor finally came back in the room.  


He said "Hey, how are you feeling?"  


"Like Shit!  Sorry, Doc, but I seriously am in a lot of pain here so I am done being polite."  I replied.


He said "That makes sense, you have a Kidney Infection.  I am going to give you a painful shot of antibiotics, prescribe you oral antibiotics to take at home and give you something for pain as well."


I asked how much it was going to cost, I don't have insurance.


He said "Well, if we don't do the shot you will likely end up being admitted to the hospital.  As it is if you are not feeling better tomorrow you will have to go into the ER."


"OK, give me the shot."  I said.  (I figure the visit to Urgent care, the shot, urine test, etc. is all a lot cheaper than being admitted in the hospital).


He mentioned again how painful the shot would be, it would take ten minutes to mix up and he would be back to give me the shot "in my hip" (AKA my ass).  


"With as much pain as I am in now, the shot can't be any worse."  I said.  


He just mentioned again that it would be very painful but it was the only option.


15 minutes later (OMG I wanted to go out and grab someone, anyone to help with the pain), he comes back in with the shot.  I am laying on the table trying to "rest" when he walks in.  


"Oh you poor thing!"  He says.


I get down, drop a side of my pants, and he says "This is going to hurt, I am sorry.  Are you ready?"


"No, but go ahead anyway."  I say


He sticks me and I feel NOTHING, no pain, no sting of the needle, nothing at all. 


He says "You should be feeling a burning pain down your leg, how are you feeling?"


"I'm good, I don't feel anything.  I told you that the shot couldn't be worse than how I am feeling right now, I meant it."  I said.


He replies "OK just checking, how about now?"  


Still good... didn't hurt at all I swear!


He says "OK I will tell you a story."


"Well, since you are the only person in a very long time who has seen my ass besides my daughter and my husband, go for it."  I said (can you all tell that I use humor to distract myself from bad situations?) 


He laughed and asked me to sit down on the table.  He says:


"I had a patient that was big, HUGE, more than 6 foot, bulky.  I had to give him the same kind of shot I just gave you and I told him it would hurt.  He said Pain, I can deal with pain.  When I gave him the shot he was very quiet.  When I was done I looked up and saw him fall back and land on top of me.  He passed out because of the pain.  I had to call for help to get him off of me."  


OMG, I was laughing.  But see, Men ... they can't handle real pain.  They think they can but seriously they are huge babies in comparison to women.  


After a quick trip to Walmart to pick up the drugs, I went home and rested.  The next morning I felt a little better, I took my meds and went back to bed while Ladybug watched Dora on my computer.  About 40 minutes later, my tummy wasn't feeling that great.  I ended up getting sick because I was stupid and didn't eat before taking the meds (I seriously should know better), which didn't help my Kidney pain at all.  In fact, the pain meds were only worked for 90 minutes and they were supposed to be taken every 4-6 hours.  I was not a happy camper. 


On Friday night I told my husband that I was pretty sure he would have to take me to the ER the next morning.  I went to bed early.  Later that evening, he came in the bedroom and was changing into jeans and a t shirt from his "house clothes".  I asked him where he was going.  He told me, "To go see a movie."


I was pissed, here I am, sick, in pain, thinking for sure I am going to need Emergency help the next day and what does he think... Gee that's great, she's sleeping so I'm going to the movies.


Nice, really.  He asked if he should stay home.  


"No, GO, watch a movie, have fun, eat POPCORN!"  I replied.


I was not a happy person at all.  He went to the movies, I stayed home in bed.  


The next morning we did go to the ER, they pumped me full of IV fluids and antibiotics, and gave me a Morphine like medication.  It helped pretty good, but wore off very fast.  They gave me better pain drugs and said I was getting better (my pee was no longer orange).


I am happy to say that I am feeling MUCH better now.  I am finished with my antibiotics and no longer need the pain meds.  I am very pissed that I missed the 4th of July party at my moms house.  I worked so hard on the flower beds and didn't get to hear what people said about them, or show them off to my own family.  


Oh well, next weekend I am going back to weed the flower beds at my parents house on Sunday and also do my grandma's weeding for her on Saturday.  Sure wish I lived closer to them.  Maybe someday.

A Day at Granddad's and Gram's

Ladybug and I went to my mom and dads house to prepare the flower beds for the upcoming party on the 3rd of July (since the 4th falls on a Monday).  I am determined for these flower beds to look great and for everyone in attendance to comment on how nice it looks.  I don't mind weeding.  But DAMN I have got to say I HATE Bermuda Grass with a passion.  That crappy "grass" grows in runners and goes everywhere, it's a pain in the butt to get it out. 


So we set out this morning at 9:30 to run by Starbucks and then head to their place before it could get too hot so we could work without being in the hot sun all day.  (Best laid plans).  I guess I didn't realize how much there was to do.  So we finally get there around 11ish.  Mom was making lunch (Bacon covered hot dogs with cheese in them).  


Ladybug and Granddad went out in the back yard to check on the pool that they were draining (to clean it).  She was so excited to get out there and "help" Granddad to clean it.  Her gardening clothes (a pair of cut off jeans and a t-shirt) were soaked before lunch was ready.  She played in the pool (that was mostly empty) for a good time and then I had to strip her in their backyard so she could eat lunch. 


Lucky for me I always bring at least 1 extra set of clothes but I had 2 sets with me today "just in case".  It came in handy.  Although Ladybug would have been perfectly happy eating naked in her towel, I put a Tangled dress on her.  After she ate her and Granddad went to OSH to get sprinkler head replacements.  

Now Ladybug and I had been to OSH on the way to Gram's house because Ladybug forgot my Garden Toolbag at home and it had my gloves in it. So I had to pick up the cheapest pair I could find ($4 for two pair) and on the way in I saw that they had flats of Verbena that my mom wanted for around the tree in the front yard.  So I told Ladybug "Remember to tell Granddad that they have Verbena for $2.28."  


When her and Granddad went to OSH he was looking at some plants that he liked and was thinking about buying but my bossy little girl told him that those were the wrong flowers and lead him straight to where they had the Verbena outside of the front of the store.  Unfortunately he had a small basket of stuff that he hadn't yet paid for.  He could have walked away basket and all for all the attention it brought but after she lead him to the flowers he felt compelled to buy them for us.  LOL.  So when they got home she comes and says:


"Mommy!!!  We got you a surprise!  It's a gardening gift!  Flowers!!"  


How cute that she thought of me when she was spending their money!   I planted several around the front tree, then the rest in the back.  We are hoping they will spread out a bit and fill in the empty spots.  


After they fixed the sprinklers (which I figured would take longer but only took like maybe 5 minutes tops), they went back in the "clean" the pool.  We were out there working in the yard and pool from about 12:30 until 5pm when Ladybugs cousin was coming over to play for a bit.  


I was covered head to toe in dirt and even though I had my mom spray my back with sunscreen (SPF 115) before I started, I still ended up burnt in some areas of my back.  It never ceases to amaze me how utterly white I am and how easily I burn.  


I just put my Ladybug to bed (more than an hour late) and she told me that her favorite part of the day was when she put her gardening gloves on herself, found some snails, dropped them on the ground and smooshed them with her shoe.  Ain't life grand?!

We can go! We can go! - The delusions of a 4 year old.

This week Ladybug has been off on a break from school.  She graduates from preschool tonight but will be returning back to her school next week for the summer program and also be remaining in 007's classroom for next year as well instead of moving on to Kindergarten.  So while I have been working here at the house for Hubby, she has been watching some TV and then we will take a TV break and spend some time together, painting, playing outside, things like that.  


Today is day 3.  Normally I would be going insane by now but things have been good.  I have found new ways to disfuse the Power Struggles that we seem to often have.  My favorite is the When/Then and it goes like this.


"When you put your panties and jammies on, Then I will turn on a movie for you."


"When you pick up your toys, Then we will have lunch."  


"When you wash your hands and face, Then we can get ready to go outside."


It's amazing how you can phrase things so they don't feel that need to get more power out of the situation!


Ok so now on to my topic.  Ladybug wanted to watch Cat in the Hat this morning.  It's not the movie but the show on PBS which I record on Tivo so we have a good selection of each of her favorites.  So in the show there are these two children Nick and Sally who are about 7 or 8 I am guessing (it's hard to tell from a cartoon).  They are friends and they play together a lot.  The Cat in the Hat always comes over when they have a problem and he has a solution from a far away place or something like that.  For instance the other day Nick was trying to make honey for breakfast since he had ran out.... So the Cat took them to a Bee Hive to learn how make honey.  Now before the kids leave they always ask whatever Mom they are with... It goes like this:


"Mom!!  Can Sally and I go with the Cat in the Hat to the Land of Milk and Honey to see how Honey is made?"  says Nick.


(Laughter)  "The Land of Milk and Honey?  Sure just be back before lunch."  says Nick's Mom.


Sally and Nick will jump up and down and say together "We can GO!  We can GO!"


"I know I know!!"  Says the Cat in the Hat.  


So anyway, Kayla was saying this morning "I can go, I can GO!"  I decided to test her on something.  I asked her this:


"Ladybug, do you think I would let you go somewhere with the Cat in the Hat?"  


"YUP!"  she says!


Wow... so let me get this straight.  A Cat in a Hat comes by and just takes off with my kid AND her friend to take them places in the Thingamajig (the flying car) with Things 1 & 2, not to mention Fish and I would be ok with this?  She insane!  I don't let her go off and play at her friends house without me being there yet (of course no friend has asked that she stay there without me yet either).  


But I shall let my Ladybug live in her dream world and be happy with that.  No point in rocking the boat on this one. She wouldn't understand.  I feel like telling her:


"When pigs fly, Then you can go with the Cat in the Hat."

At my age....

At my age (33) you would think I would have learned a few things. Like not to be stubborn and to insist on doing things my way just because I am mad at my husband for being careless.  This is a two story Blog.  I probably could split it into two blogs but I figure I think they tie together in what I am beginning to feel is my "Week to be stubborn and stupid". 


Many many weeks ago when I had my cousins carpet cleaner my husband was doing something in the living room (maybe setting up the Tivo... who knows... it doesn't matter).  Anyway... I went out there to see if I could "help" him (because God knows if he's doing a project in the house he always needs help, the man can't seem to even cook spaghetti without needing me to help).  When I got into the living room I saw that there was a HUGE red Koolaid stain on the carpet from a big tall glass that he took in there and put on the floor.  


(OK, let me stop here with the fact that the man is in his 40's, has kids, lives with a 4 year old, as well as 4 cats and thinks that putting a glass of anything on the carpet is OK?)  


So I asked him about it and he said that someone or something must have knocked it over and went back to the Tivo installation.  So it was up to me to clean up.  I sprayed 409 on the sucker (fresh mind you) and turned on the carpet cleaner and must have had the damned thing on for more than 20-30 minutes on this stain but it was still there.  I finally gave up.  


Well, about 10 minutes into my vacuuming frenzy my husband (who I was not happy with in the least) pipes up and says "Go get Club Soda and Salt and it should take the stain right out.  I heard it on Curb Your Enthusiasm".  


Being that I am a very stubborn person, especially when mad I didn't listen to him because, let's be honest, some of those home made remedies that you hear about just don't work or they need to much effort that it's nearly not worth it in the end.  Now I think I am the most "Green" person in my extended family, that I know of.  We recycle (or collect cans and never take them down to the recycling place), conserve water and power, I even used cloth diapers on Ladybug.  So this should have been something I jumped on.  But I wanted to be stubborn and mad at my husband so left the stupid stain there.  It's been sitting there now for almost 2 months taunting me every time I go in there.  


So, today Ladybug begged me to let her eat her Pizza Lunchable for dinner.  I plan(ed) to make White Chili Soup and knowing that she wouldn't eat it I let her go ahead and eat the lunchable.  The first "pizza" she makes she drops on the floor.  Shredded cheese is everywhere and there is a small tomato sauce stain on my carpet in the dinning room. 


I am thinking "Well, shit!!!  That's not coming out!"


I tell Ladybug, "Sit down in your chair and do not get up until you are finished eating please."  After she washes her hands she does this.  


So I figure now is the time to "Prove my husband wrong" and try the Soda Water/Salt combo to see if it works.  I happen to have Club Soda in my pantry because it's called for in some other "Green Cleaning recipes" that I was checking out.  So I took it out and poured it on the stain, put a little salt on it, walked to my computer to see how long to leave it, came back (was gone maybe a minute or two), and blotted it up with a towel and the F^ing Stain was GONE! So I go to the other stains that I have (one in the entry way and the big one in the living room) and try my new trick and it WORKED, in minutes.


You might be thinking I was happy, elated, singing with giddiness that the stain is gone and I can stock up on Club Soda and have a new use for the salt that I am no longer using for food because of high blood pressure... You would be wrong!  I am irritated that my freaking husband (being the idiot who caused the first mess) was right!  Explain that please?  I sure can't.  


I am not looking forward to when he gets home and sees the stains out of the carpet (maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday soon I am sure he will mention it) and then I will have to admit that I got them out using his suggestion!  I may never live this down.  It will go down in my family history with the Pokémon incident (which may or may not be told in a later Blog).


Now this would all be ok with me if last nights Rice Cooker fiasco hadn't happened.  Several months ago I bought a Black and Decker Rice Cooker for Hubby because he had been whining that we couldn't live without it blah blah blah, I saw it on sale for $9.98 at Wise Buys and figured to give it a shot.  This was the first time using it.  


Now I don't care for rice as a rule, I am a potato person.  But my husband is on potato strike for a year (at least from what he says) and so I figured I would make rice to go with the Pork Chops I was making last night.  


I had made the pork chops for Ladybug and I (since the only child who would come and eat at the table besides Ladybug is Cassie and she was out with her boyfriend yesterday) and also made mashed potatoes with cauliflower in them, as well as Ladybugs all time favorite food, Garlic Croissant Rolls.  Hubby was going to be home later though so I figured to try to make him some Brown Rice in the Rice Maker.  


So after I put the pork chops in the oven I read the instructions for the Rice Cooker.  It had a section for "Rice Cooking" and a section for "Food Steaming".   I read the instructions for both but basically figured I knew what I was doing (how hard can it be right?), filled the water reservoir with a cup and a half of water, stuck the 1 cup of rice in the cooker thing and turned it on for 50 minutes that it said it took to cook it.  In that time I was able to finish the potato/cauliflower dish, the rolls and some corn, as well as the Pork Chops.  I put it all on the table and we started eating.  Then it "dings!"


I get up and check it and am completely pissed and disappointed because the freaking rice is still hard and not cooked at all.  So I try read the instructions and it says this:


"Using the Rice Bowl


When cooking in the rice bowl, add rice, herbs, seasonings, and water directly into the rice bowl.


1.  Place the steaming basket onto the drip tray and place the rice bowl with contents into the steaming basket (H).  Cover steaming basket with the lid.


2  Plug cord into wall outlet and set the timer to desired cooking time, up to 75 minutes; see Cooking Chart on page 6 for recommended times.


3.  When cooking is finished, unplug the unit and remove the rice bowl immediately to avoid over-cooking.


4.  Use the lid inverted as a tray for the steam basket.
CAUTION:  Use pot holders when removing the lid or lifting the steaming basket, drip tray or rice bowl.  Life the lid away from your face and body to avoid escaping steam."


So I followed those directions.  50 minutes later, water, rice and no cooked rice.  Ladybug is getting ready for bed, Hubby is on his way home, I am So tired that I just want to go to bed but I want and need to get this right.  So I try to combined my two efforts and put the water in the reservoir and in the rice bowl with the rice and try that.  


Three hours after I started dinner the rice was done to perfection.  How many times does it take to make rice in the rice cooker?  The answer is three, if you are patient.  If you are not patient you would have thrown the damned thing out after the second try and figured stove rice was good enough from now on.  If you are interested in purchasing this wonderful device please see the picture and link below.  

What did you say?

OK this is a test.  The picture to the right is a what?  


You probably said Peacock but you would be wrong!!  According the Ladybug this is a Teapot.

OK next question....


This is called?


Nope not an elevator it's an Alligator!






Imagine how long it took me to figure that one out when she kept telling me she wanted to go to the library so she could go on the alligator.  


She can now say Peacock but sometimes gets it confused at first try (Says Peapock LOL), and she can say elevator too.  To be honest I know she's a little slow with her speech and her pronunciation needs work but she's a lot better now than she used to be!  At least strangers can usually understand her without needing me to be an interpreter for them!


We have two male peacocks that live in the field behind us.  They are noisy creatures and I hear their poo stinks but they don't poop anywhere by my home so I am ok with it.  I keep wondering if they are gay or just loser male birds who can't find a female to keep them warm at night.  I may never know.

I was watching TV and it just came out....

I got Ladybug a new blanket the other day and surprised her at school with it.  It's a Ladybug Pillow Pet Blanket.  It's her new favorite blanket and matches her favorite Ladybug Pillow Pet.


I was sitting here at my computer desk, on the phone with my mom, talking to her about the blanket and audio books, when Ladybug comes in, panties in hand.  She comes up and starts talking to me.


"Mommy, I pee peed in my panties, I'm sorry." she says.


"Hold on Mom." I say, "Ladybug, why did you pee pee in your panties?"


She says "I was watching TV and it just came out."  


I tell my mom, "Did you hear that?  She pee peed in her panties.  She says that she was watching TV and it just came out."


My mother is rolling with laughter.  I tell Ladybug to finish going potty (she only peed a little bit) and get new panties.  


I tell my mom, "I can understand if she said Mommy, I pooped in my panties.  I thought I had to fart but it was poop.  But I can't understand how pee pee can just come out!"  


We got off on a side thought.  I have chronic sleep problems.  To be honest they are embarrassing even though I know they are out of my control.  I will have to get in to that at a later date... that is a blog to itself.  


I was telling her that I was just so excited lately about her getting herself up in the night to go to the bathroom and how I didn't have to remember to do it before I went to sleep anymore.  Sometimes I would forget.  


Hubby would be in the room watching tv and ask me "Hey, don't you have to get her up to go to the bathroom." 


I would say, "I don't wanna.  Hopefully she will be ok tonight." 


Now sometimes she would be fine.  She would go the whole night without an accident and it would be wonderful.  So I stopped getting her up myself and let her do it on her own.  But then there were the nights that I would amaze my husband.  Around 1 o clock in the morning she would come into my bedroom crying.


"Mommy I pee peed in my bed."  She would say.


Now she's not worried about her sheets but very concerned that she might have peed on her favorite blanket.  Usually somehow she missed (lucky for me).  


Hubby is still watching TV at this point.  I am sleeping but I am a mom so I am always "on".  I get out of bed, lead her back to her room and proceed to change her sheets.  If this was a good night it would go like this.  


1.  I would gently lead her back to her room, leave her light off. 
2.  Get her new panties.
3.  Strip her sheets.
4.  Check her blanket to see if it's wet.   
5.  If it's not, I send a prayer of Thank You to the God of Night-time Accidents.
6.  I put a new sheet on the bed.
7.  Tuck Ladybug back into bed.
8.  Turn on her Pooh CD.
9.  Give kisses and hugs while reminding her that if she has to go potty that it would be best to do it in the toilet not her bed.
10.  Take all the wet stuff to the washing machine, put fabric softener into the machine, soap, and turn it on.
11.  Go to my bathroom to wash my hands.
12.  Fall back into bed and answer Hubby's question of "What happened?"  with "I changed her sheets." 
13.  Quickly go back to sleep.


Now I can usually do the above in less than 5 minutes, then quickly fall back to sleep.  


It's it's not a good night it goes like this:


"Mommy I pee peed in my bed!"

1.  I would gently lead her back to her room, leave her light off. 

2.  Get her new panties.

3.  Strip her sheets.

4.  Check her blanket to see if it's wet.   

5.  It's wet.  I internally curse the Gods of Night-time Accident's and wonder what I did to piss them off.

6.  Console Ladybug that she will be ok in her "back-up blanket" until the other is clean.  

7.  Search for sheets (with the light off). 

8.  Try to remember where the F the F&*ing sheets are.  

9.  After searching for about 2 minutes in the dark finally remember that I washed the sheets the other day and try to remember if they are in the dryer or somewhere in the laundry pile of things to be put away.

10.  Curse the Laundry Fairies for not doing their job that day.  

11.  Go to my room.

12.  Turn on my light to look in the laundry pile from hell for two minutes.

13.  After finding nothing I turn off the light. 

14.  Check the dryer.

15.  Turn on Ladybug's light.  Check the drawers under her bed.

16.  Check the closet to figure out that the F&*ing sheets were put away in the first place, just in the wrong spot.  

17.  Put the sheet on the bed, while cursing my rotten luck under my breath.

18.  Tuck Ladybug into bed.

19.  Turn on her Pooh CD.

20.  Give kisses and hugs while reminding her that if she has to go potty that it would be best to do it in the toilet not her bed.  Because Mommy doesn't like having to get up in the middle of the night to search for sheets and deal with pee pee.

10.  Take all the wet stuff to the washing machine, put fabric softener into the machine, soap, and turn it on.

11.  Go to my bathroom to wash my hands.

12.  Fall back into bed and answer Hubby's question of "What happened?"  with "I changed her F&*ing sheets." 

13.  Quickly roll over pretending to sleep because I am too mad to sleep, mostly at Hubby for not getting off his a$$ and helping me or knowing where the F&*ing sheet was to begin with.

14.  Go to sleep (about 30-45 minutes later) after having a bowl of cereal or milk and cookies.  

Sigh... These were the nights of my life.  I think I might have just jinxed myself... 

I wonder where the sheets are tonight....

Ladybug's Proud Potty Moment

I have been very thankful lately.  I have been thinking about all the stages that I have gone through as a mother with Ladybug.  We have the first stage of breastfeeding and diapers (I kinda miss those days).  The second stage of ear infections, antibiotics, diarrhea, and changing to cloth diapers to help with the rash.  The third stage of starting to potty train during the day.  The forth stage of potty training at night.  I am finally done with the latest stage and can proudly say that Ladybug officially "sleeps through the night" most nights, with rare accidents!!  


Good Lord this child used to wet through two night diapers a night.  When she finally started to tell me she wanted to wear panties to bed instead of diapers I figured, "Sure we can try it."  I would get her up and carry her to the bathroom in the middle of the night, at first it was several times a night.  Then it dwindled down to once a night before I would go to sleep myself.  Then all of a sudden she started to get up herself and go potty by herself and take herself back to bed!!  Yeah!!  This is a proud moment in my life.  


So in celebration of this wonderful life moment I wanted to go down memory lane and tell you a little story about Ladybug's Proud Potty Moment.


We started potty training Ladybug back when she turned 2.  We were making some progress when we found out that we had to move because the owner of the house we were in was losing the house to foreclosure.  Potty training pretty much stopped then, due to the stress of finding a new home for the 7 of us, close to work and schools, as well as affordable.  We found a great house at the end of a dirt road in the same town.  It fits the 7 of us with room for my sanity (most days).    


After packing, moving, and some unpacking (I am still not all the way unpacked because I figure as soon as I do we will have to move again)... I decided to try again.  Ladybug was a cloth diaper child at home and then regular diapers/pull ups at daycare.  Daycare jumped on board with me and off we went.  


One evening while I was taking a shower, Ladybug was in my room watching a TV show.  I heard her say, "Mommy! Blah blah blah blah blah!!"  with a lot of pride in her voice.  I asked her what she said and she repeated it, with a lot of pride but I couldn't understand her.  I told her to come closer so I could hear her better.  She came in the bathroom and said it again but with the noise of the shower and her being young and not talking clearly I couldn't understand what she said.  So finally I opened the shower door and asked her "What did you say?"  


She puffed her chest up with pride, smiled really big and said, "Mommy!  I pee peed on your purse!!!"  


"You WHAT?!?!"  I asked loudly.  


"I pee peed on your purse!!" she said with a little less pride.


"You're kidding me!!"  I said with more excitement.  


At this point I think she realized that I wasn't happy with her choice pee pee place.  I told her to go get my purse and then to go get her Daddy in the other room.  Hubby didn't seem to be as alarmed as I was about the whole thing.  I told him to get out of the room then if he wasn't going to be helpful.  When I was done (a short time later) I wiped it off with a clorox wipe.  Thankfully it's leather and didn't soak in.  


Here's the thing.  My purse was on the ground by my desk.  She had to move it where she ended up peeing on it, take off her panties, squat and pee.  How she thought this was a good thing is beyond me.    She peed on the purse and the floor mat for my desk chair.  I nearly slipped and fell on my butt when I was looking for the spot she peed on.  Lucky for me she missed the carpet.  


I still figure my husband would have been more upset had it been something of his that she peed on.  I was very irritated with him for a while.  A couple weeks later, as he was putting on the clothes he sleeps in (he keeps them on the floor in the bathroom) he noticed that they were wet.  He came to me to ask why they were wet.  Since she hadn't had her bath that night yet I figured she peed on them.  


My Mama always told me "Paybacks are a &itch".  Glad he got to learn that lesson.  Maybe he will learn to be more sympathetic... I won't hold my breath.