So Excited!!

I sold another one of my Lazy Susan's yesterday!!!!!  So very exciting.  I sold it to the Chaplin I met while Hubby was in the ICU.  So 2.5 months later I deliver the goods LOL.  She's understanding of what was going on.  I put the money back into the business, I gave money to my Dad to make me more rounds both 12 inch and 15 inch rounds.  Then Ladybug and I will be making up a bunch to put on Etsy and also to sell at an upcoming Craft Fair held locally in November!!!  I'm too excited for this all to come together.  I designed and ordered business cards, a stamp (for the back of the Lazy Susan's) and postcards (for Thank You notes if I ship stuff out).  

There is so much potential.  I also heard from a FB friend of Hubby's about a PT work from home opportunity and I applied for that today as well.  I would work up to 4 hours per day at the new place and maybe even be able to do some of it while I'm at the FT job.  All I need is a phone or computer.  

Yesterday I rushed home after work and finalized all the stuff on the Lazy Susan, then rushed to Hubby's rehab facility where I was going to meet the Chaplin.  I was so excited.  Anyway, I forgot that Hubby had Speech Therapy at 2pm so I was in the dining room waiting for my Chaplin friend and they were holding a Brain Injury Support Group in there.  I was listening in, I honestly wanted to attend but not without Hubby.  There was a woman there who I think her nephew is in the room next to Hubby.  Anyway, he wakes up every single night every two hours and they have to wake up with him and tell him that this is your room and this is your bed.  He doesn't remember every single time he wakes up.  He has like no short term memory.  He keeps asking her why she's there with him and shouldn't she be at work, when she's been retired for 8 years or more.  It's so sad.  I'm blessed that Hubby didn't turn out this way.  I think he has some short term memory issues but it's getting better and better I think.  

Yesterday while I was at work Hubby shared with me two videos.  One was of him walking down the hall unassisted (no walker) and the other was of him standing up tall and putting each foot onto a step without holding on to anything (not easy for him, his balance has been off).  I cried when I saw those videos.  I know he's working so very hard.  

I need to get into the garage very soon (Sheesh I need to write a list) and find how what kind of cable we have in there to sell those boxes of cable and get some money coming in from that.  That will at least help. Hubby also mentioned some instruments that he has somewhere in the house or the garage that we can sell too.  I need to do that THIS weekend.  I don't want to forget.  At least then I have accomplished something.  Although with the craft fair and selling the Lazy Susan I think I have accomplished a lot. 

I feel to light today and like life is full of potential and opportunity.  I hope this feeling lasts a while.

Yelling at God

I think I've mentioned that I have trouble sleeping.  That sounds so mild when you say it "trouble sleeping."  My trouble is anything BUT mild.  In fact it gets violent and loud at times.  You see, I have what they call Hypnagotic Hallucinations.  This is when I am going to sleep, within the first 20 to 30 minutes of me falling asleep, I wake up, see my room but also see things that aren't really there.  I've seen it all, spiders, boxes falling down on Ladybug, Luggage hanging over my bed, a ceiling fan on high hanging on by one cable, people, monsters, etc.  With all that has been going on with Hubby, I've had vivid hallucinations that he's in bed with me but stopped breathing and the vent wasn't working to keep him alive, I've seen him "fall" out of bed and got up out of bed, ran around the bed to see nothing on the floor and realize that he's not here.  That being said I've been searching for a long time now, for some type of relief.  I'm more of the all natural kind of girl so have been trying Melatonin, essential oils applied on me, essential oils diffused in the room, ingesting the essential oils, warm milk, cold cereal, alcohol and finally have tried meds... again.  Anyway I'm on this med right now that seems to help curb them.  

However, one day a week or more ago, I was sleeping in my room and I had been waking up every single night for several weeks at least around 10:30 PM every... single.... night.  This night, for whatever reason, I had had it.  I was DONE with waking up all night long (I would wake at 10:30 PM and go back to sleep only to wake up around 1 AM etc. and on going until it's time to wake up for real).  This night I woke up and for whatever reason I started yelling and cursing.... at God.  Apparently GOD keeps waking me up in the middle of the night for whatever reason and I was asking him WHY, why do you keep waking me up like this, why at 10:30 PM EVERY night!  Why couldn't he just let me sleep through the whole night every so often?  I would be happy with just one night per week where I would sleep all the way through.  Just ONE NIGHT!!!  

It took me a few minutes of ranting and raving at God before I came fully awake and realized what I was doing/saying and I felt pretty embarrassed.  I believe I got up, got something to drink, apologized to God and went back to sleep.  I really hope that God understands.  On another note as I'm thinking back now, I no longer wake up around 10:30 PM, now it's 9:30 PM.... well played God, well played.