Wednesday, August 29, 2018

The End of the Beginning

This is likely the beginning of a new life for us, Hubby, Ladybug and myself, at least.  It's been a road we've traveled for nearly three months now and it seems both short and long.  As I sit here half asleep thinking about everything that has happened and everything that will happen, it's overwhelming to be sure.  

I'm thinking about all the people we've met along the way.  Both of the Medical profession and just the regular people who were patients or family of patients.  We've met some really great people along the way.  For instance there was the nurse in the ICU that we had the last couple of days there that was just THE BEST nurse I could have asked for.  She helped me clean up Hubby when he was still mostly sleeping/in a coma.  She helped me make him look more himself.  Made things more normal and taught us how to care for him the way he needed it.  She gave hugs when they were needed as well.  There was the nurses at the next place we were at, the acute care hospital who cared for him and made us feel like he was the best patient ever and that miracles were happening.  There was the Janitor at the Post Acute place that was so horrible (the place not the janitor) who was so honest with everything.  There was a man who lived there that was always outside doing a word puzzle book or asleep with a word puzzle book, who Ladybug took a puzzle book to after Hubby was discharged.  There is the AWESOME CNA that helped Hubby ONE DAY at the place he's at now that I wish would be his CNA every time she works but isn't.  We just clicked her and I.  There is the head nurse there too that's made me feel like any issue I have is going to be dealt with quickly.  And then there are the patients at this current place, the older people who have lived there, been there a long time and might never leave there again.  The older people who seem possibly forgotten by everyone but themselves.  There is a guy who made it a point to tell me that he appreciated how much I was helping Hubby.  Like it was something that I wouldn't do.  There is the woman who calls everyone Ma'am and always asks about the baby (grandson) and where he's at.  Then there is the woman who only speaks Ukrainian but who makes it a point to come over to me every day that I am there and talk to me.  

The other day she noticed I was tired, I was angry and I was just spent from everything.  The lack of information on Hubby's potential move or if he's coming home.  The tiresome stuff at work.  The lack of help from Ladybug at home with compounded into an argument on the way to see Hubby and left me feeling like I was a failure.  It was likely written all over my face.  That feeling of failure, that exhaustion.  She came over and pulled out a chair for me to sit down in.  She held my hand and kissed it.  Lord knows what she said and she goes both ways where she can be sweet or just plain mean but she's always been nice to me. I think she likes creating chaos and who could blame her with where she's living and who she's surrounded by (only a few who speak her language) it must be lonely for her.  But in our way we have bonded regardless that we don't speak the same language.  

I wonder what will happen to these people when we leave.  Some of them seem so happy to see us when we come to visit.  I'm not going to have the time to go back and see them.  I'll be busy with Hubby, Ladybug, work, PT, OT, SP and everything else that will come up.  I will miss them in my own way and will wonder about how they are doing.  

I just found out that our insurance declined Hubby for the rehab place.  Sigh.... OK so at least I KNOW that he's coming home tomorrow.  I can plan for that now.  I have the home assessment this afternoon and will go to work again at 4:30 AM tomorrow and leave at 1 PM to go pick him up from that facility for the last time, with the exception of when we go back and get his brand new wheelchair.    I think we are all three a little scared about this but I know that if we work together we can make anything happen.  I will be off work for two weeks following his discharge.  During this time we will be going to the Doctor, Dentist, Eye Doctor and establishing PT, OT and ST at the house.  We will be finding our schedule, our groove.  

Good Lord.... please pray for us.

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