I'm not even sure what to say today. I just know that I feel the need to write down my thoughts, my frustrations. I really wish I didn't spend so much of my time feeling irritated.
Today we are supposed to find out if Hubby will be accepted into the intensive rehab program. If he's accepted then he will likely be moved over tomorrow or no later than Monday. He will likely only be there for a maximum of two weeks. But it's better than nothing and I think it's a great program for him. Hubby wants to go there too. He knows he's nearly home. Not that coming home will make everything better, because it won't. Home will still be hard because he will need a Home Health Aide for the first couple of weeks and will also have to do PT, OT, and ST there too. This means more work for me to be sure that he has the right people helping him. I will also have to figure out meal planning for all three meals of the day whereas now and before this we all just kinda did our own thing except dinner.
So that's one thing on my mind, constantly. Another thing is we purchased a brand new 2018 Honda CR-V in April for Hubby to use for work and now with only one income I'm in a pickle needing to know, do we NEED this car? I have another car. A 2011 Honda Accord which has always been reliable. I need to get the spark plugs replaced and a friends husband said he would help me with that. Once that's done I'm not sure I DO need the new car. But dang it's hard to say that and give it up but for $450 a month... that's money I can't afford to spend right now. So now I'm trying to figure out what is the best plan of action to take. Do I get it appraised at the dealership and see if they can pay off the loan? Do I try to find someone who wants to buy it and pay off my loan? Do I allow someone to pay ME for my payments? Sheesh. Last night I was telling Ladybug that I was likely going to have to sell the new car and she freaked OUT. Saying that this is how she knows that God doesn't exist because he allows stuff like THIS to happen. She says this because this is the ONLY brand new car we've ever been able to get. And yeah, it doesn't seem fair but life isn't fair. Life is full of hard decisions but I need to do my best to make the right decision regardless. And talking to Hubby about this just makes us both sad because honestly, we don't know IF he will ever be able to drive again.
This weekend Ladybug is going to stay the night at Blue's house. Blue's house is near a river about an hour away from me. I'm both happy and nervous for this. She's never spent the night there before and I'm hoping everything goes well. This will allow me to have some alone time with Hubby too. We haven't spoken about which day is best this weekend for his home visit yet. I think it really depends on if he goes to that other place or not. If not then hell I will check him out on both days LOL. But then again I also have to install the three transfer poles and the 4 inside cameras and the two Alexa Dots that I have in preparation of his homecoming. Hopefully that won't take too long and be too exhausting. I can't wait to have an entire weekend of doing NOTHING, going NOWHERE. Lord knows when I will actually get that though.
I really don't want this Blog to be a whiny reminder of my horrible thoughts. Honestly with Facebook and all the things people post on there that's constantly negative I would hate that. I think this is another thing I need to find balance in though. I'm hoping that eventually things will balance out again. I'm really not UNHAPPY with my life. I'm content for the most part. I mean there isn't much I can change to make it different or better. So I need to be content.
So that being said I need to make more time for my passion, my hobby, my obsession, it's Unicorn Spit! We can all blame my Dad for this obsession of mine (and Ladybugs) with Unicorn Spit. It's a wood paint/stain/gel that's non-toxic and just plain AWESOME. I did a small round metal table (painted over w/ chalk paint so the USpit will adhere to it) as my first real "project" and it turned out AWESOME. Ladybug and I are hoping to make this into a side business. My Dad is cutting out rounds for me to use so I can make Lazy Susan's and my friend has already purchased three of them from me! I want to get some more finished so I can put them on FB Marketplace or Etsy. I'm looking forward to finishing up some more and then selling them. I think it would be a great therapeutic thing for Ladybug and I to do together as a team.
No comments:
Post a Comment