Ladybug, Baby Lizard and Cassie the Procrastinator

I have had some people ask for an update about the lizard (who Ladybug calls Baby Lizard).  He is still happily living in the birdhouse/feeder and we check on his almost daily.  Ladybug colored him a small picture and put it in there.  He uses it as a blanket. 

The other day as I was preparing Ladybug for her Easter Pictures I was brushing her hair and noticed there was a spot in the front that was a lot shorter than it should have been.  I asked her about it…

First, she tried to tell me that she cut it because she was tired of having long hair and wanted it short like mine.  I didn’t really believe this at all because I know that she really loves her long hair.  She’s usually pretty good about taking care of it and will even go and brush it herself in the mornings and night.  So I told her if that’s what she wanted to do I would make an appointment with my hair dresser friend the next week and get it cut for her. 

She paused and then launched into this tirade about how there was a part of her hair that was all messed up and would “stick up all over” and she was really mad about it so decided to cut it herself instead of talking to me about it and getting her hair done so it wouldn’t be in her way.   

It didn’t look too bad really (see picture).  It bothered me that she used her scissors to cut her hair.  So we took them away for the day and had a very long talk about what to do if she has a problem with her hair next time.  It could have been a lot worse for sure. 

I have an ongoing battle with my 15-year-old (Cassie, short for Procrastinator).  She has very poor school habits that she clings to like it’s the last piece of pizza in the buffet.  So I tried to work with her on these things, offering help, trying to get her to talk to her teachers if she didn’t understand things, creating a schedule so she might be better organized in life and also have dedicated homework time every day.  I started the grounding after these things didn’t seem to help.  I told her that she couldn’t go to her friends on the weekends (one of her favorite pastimes) unless she turning in all her late/missing assignments.  I had a list and come Friday I wanted to know that they were done or she couldn’t go over to her friend’s house.   She told me they were done and I would later find out that not only were they NOT done but after the weekend away more stuff was missing.  I decided to then take away her phone, internet, and spending time with her friends.  On the night I told her that she had 20 minutes to say good-bye to her friends and I needed her cell phone I received a text saying “I know you will judge me but I am coming out of the closet.  I am Bi and am dating ****”.   My first thought to this was “What does this have to do with your terrible grades?!?!?!”   I did not text her that though.  I came up with something “Politically Correct” like “Ok, regardless of that you still have to get your grades up so I will need your phone in 10 minutes.” 

This was a couple of months ago.  I was hoping to see her grades improve.  She goes to tutoring for her math class three times a week and sits down at the table (I see her) for her dedicated 2 hours to do homework, but her grades are still awful. 

One night, I am not sure what started me thinking about it but I wanted to find her cell phone.  I looked in the place I normally keep it (my nightstand drawer) and I couldn’t find it … so I looked it other places thinking I might have put it elsewhere and forgot.  I couldn’t find it anywhere in my room.  I was beginning to get very angry.  I went to the room she shares with her two older sisters and asked to speak with her.  I asked her “Where is your cell phone?”  She said (can you believe it), “It was an emergency!!!”  OK … What kind of cell phone emergency could she have had?  If there was an emergency she could have used to house phone (which is hooked up in her room) or borrowed her sisters phone.  I called her on her BS right there and told her to get me her phone AND the charger.  When she brought them to me I asked her what made her think that she could go through my stuff and look for ANYTHING!!  I was SO mad.  I figured she could be grounded forever at this point I could care less.  However, I came up with something better.  I told her (when I could stand to talk to her again without being pissed) that if I EVER found out that she went through my things again OR was doing things that she was grounded from that I would take her cell phone, put it in a Ziploc bag and pound it with a hammer.  (The Ziploc makes for easy clean up)  That got her attention.  So far the phone is still in its new hiding spot. 

So now this leads me to my next quandary with this situation.  I won’t let Blue, who is 17, spend the night at her boyfriend’s house because I feel that she needs to wait until she is 18.  (Please don’t ask me to explain this … I just don’t think she needs to be spending the night at her boyfriend’s house before she’s 18 or older.  She needs to experience sneaking around to have sex just like the rest of us did).  However, if Cassie IS bi-sexual (and I have no problems with it one way or the other) then how can I let her spend the night at her friend’s house even if they are just girls?!?!  In fact, how can I let her spend the night at ANY of her friends’ houses after this?  I wouldn't let Blue spend the night at a boys house even if they weren’t dating.  I also can’t really let the friend stay here either (even though I would supervise them) because I wouldn’t let Blue’s BF spend the night.  Here is my thing.  Life isn’t fair and sometimes the rules you have for one you can’t have for the other.  I like Cassie’s friends and wouldn't mind them spending the night here.  I also like Blue’s BF but wouldn't want him to spend the night here.   Maybe it’s because I don’t think that Cassie would “do anything” here but Blue might?  I am not sure. 

It’s still a mystery.  I am open to any suggestions.