Blog Intro

I am in my early 30’s and a stepmother to 4 children ages 22, 20, 17 and 15.  I also have a very active 4 year old.  4 girls and a boy!  I love them all but they drive me nuts sometimes.  It’s the “I have to laugh or I will cry” concept.  My husband works as an independent contractor for technical things (please… don’t ask me much more than that.  J) so he is on the road a lot and works odd hours.  So when something comes up with the kids it’s up to me to handle it.  The mother of the 4 older kids isn’t in the picture.  My husband and I haven’t heard from her in years and she hasn’t paid child support in longer than that. 

I have been mostly unemployed since 2009.  I have worked a few temporary and contract positions but nothing that’s worked out.  I started working at a great place that is in the vegetable seed industry and LOVED it.  I had high hopes that it would be my forever job even though it was 45 minutes away from my house.  I work as an Executive or high level Administrative Assistant and I am damn good at what I do.  That was part of the problem with my last job.  I worked myself out of a job and they didn’t have enough work for me to do. 

So this is week two of unemployment.  I would have thought I would have more done around the house but I don’t.  I go through times (at least twice a day) where I wish I could hire someone to come in and do a detailed cleaning job on my house. 

Last week on Monday two of my kids were sick and needed to go to the doctor.  So day one of “freedom” was out.  (J)  Tuesday!!  YEAH.  Kids went to school and I did some work in the house.  I was able to get out of the house in the afternoon and work in the yard.  I live on some land and we have a small ditch in the backyard.  It has rained a lot here lately and there was a lot of stuff blocking it so my husband worried that we would get water in the garage if it wasn’t fixed soon.  I went out with my shovel, loppers, and rake and tackled the biggest, baddest, thorniest, plants I have ever seen.  Made me wish for rose gloves (the gloves with longer “sleeves” so I wouldn’t get all cut up).  An hour and a half later it was done.  My main purpose though wasn’t to clean out the ditch (originally).  It was to plant some Astilbe plants in my backyard that had been shipped to me a few days before.  I had a meeting so I worked quickly to get two out of the eight plants in the ground and then took a quick shower and left.  Meeting went well and afterwards I figured I should pick up the kids then rush home to finish up in the backyard because it was supposed to rain the next day.  My 4 year old LOVES to help me garden.  She LOVES to look for worms and ladybugs and will be out there the entire time I am “helping” me.  We had a blast. 

Gardening is my new hobby.  I have been playing around with it for a couple years but have gone crazy this year with seeds, bulbs, mail order, tools, etc.  I have started some seeds inside.  God help me that they grow!!  Ladybug (the 4 year old) was helping me do the indoor seed starting this weekend since it was raining all day on Sunday.  I felt like I spent most of the day gritting my teeth and telling her to stop doing something.  I still had a good time but it was a day where she was pushing my patience the entire time her eyes were open. 

Before I worked myself out of a job my hubby was asking me to put together a budget so he could figure out how much he had to work and still be able to go to school to get his degree.  He is SO close yet so far away from his degree.  So I just got off the phone with Hubby and he was telling me again to put together a budget with what I will get from EDD and the monthly bills so we could figure out where we could cut back and how much he would need to work.  I know that this conversation wasn’t meant to make me feel like the scum of the earth but somehow … it did.  I feel like crying because I somehow let him and the family down.  Even though I know that I have done all I can to make sure that I get a new job ASAP… it falls short somehow. 

OK that’s enough this time.  I have to get back to some laundry before I get to make the rounds to pick up the kids.  Until I write again….