Ladybug's Presents

Ok, first I would like to start this post out by asking you not to judge me.  I am not proud of the time period that has gone by within this post...  Anyway, here I go.


A week before Christmas, Ladybug stayed the week at my parents house.  It was a much needed break for us to get some things straighten out at our house (I won't go into detail).  This is the longest she's stayed away from me since she was born.  It was hard for all of us but she had a great time at Gram's and Granddad's house and loved spending that time with them... Until she talked on the phone with me at night that is.  


At the end of the week, I met my Mom in a town about half way between our two houses.  Ladybug and I were overjoyed to see each other.  She said that she made us some presents.  We came home and unpacked her clothes and started doing other stuff.  


Time passed.... It's now early March.  I had cleaned out one of the backpacks used for some of her stuff so that I could use it.  It mostly had her drawings, pictures and coloring's in it.  I was in a hurry so just dumped it all on the floor to go through later.  Well, when I went through it later, as I was cleaning up my room, I noticed that some of the pictures were taped like presents... but the presents inside were, how should I describe them... squishy.  I couldn't think of what they could be so I unwrapped one.  After I got through all that tape I found.... a slice of American Cheese, still in the wrapping, perfectly preserved.  Wow, does she know the way to our hearts or what!

I asked her if she had asked Gram or Granddad if she could have the cheese to wrap as a present and she told me no.  When I asked her why she said:


"Well, Mommy, I wanted it to be a surprise."


Well, it was a surprise alright.  I explained to her that when you take things that aren't yours without asking it's stealing and that she should have asked if she could have it (I bet it wasn't missed but still).  She said:


"Oh, I'm sorry Mommy, I didn't mean to steal it.  Promise me that you won't tell anyone."


Ok, so minor technicality, I didn't tell "anyone", I told everyone (through this Blog).  OMG I laughed very hard at the look on her face.  I never imagined that that's what the present would have been.  

Explaination

OK so before you jump to the conclusion that my poor little Ladybug is being misused somehow, let me explain.


Ladybug goes to a preschool that has 2-5 year old in the same class. They share a bathroom that has two toilets.  So, I am sure at one point or another they have seen each others underwear etc.  


However, this does not explain the comment when I showed Ladybug a newborn picture of herself and she looked at the bellybutton (that was clamped off and cut) and said "Mommy, that kinda looks like a boys Potty."


I still believe that this is all fairly innocent but did bring it to the attention of the teachers at the school and I also was able to find out which "boys" (there was really only one) said that about her panties.  


I thought it was funny how she said that anyway.  Who knows... the boy could have seen her panties because her pants fall down (Plumbers Crack).  

Words a Mother NEVER wants to hear her daughter say...

"Mommy, a lot of boys say that they like my panties."

A Clean Potty

Ladybug will be 5 on Thanksgiving this year.  We used to shower together (because it was easier), now she showers alone.  Like any child she has some "problems" at times with her "Potty" (that's what she calls her vagina).


For instance, I would say 7 out of 10 times she will go potty and forget to wipe.  She also likes to touch herself (again very normal for her age) and with this she sometimes get a little red.


That being said, tonight she was taking a shower and when she was done I go to check on her (still in the shower).


I ask:
Are you done?


Ladybug:
Yes


Me:
OK then it's time to get out then...  What's wrong?


Ladybug (as she's looking at her Potty)
My Potty is red.


Me:
And why is your Potty red?  (expecting her to tell me she didn't wipe and touched her Potty.)


Ladybug:
Because I touched it.


Me:
Then shouldn't you stop touching your Potty then?


Ladybug:
I was washing it Mommy.  Because there was Yucky Stuff on there.


Me:
Oh, well that's good then.  You should wash your Potty just like Mommy does.


Ladybug:
But Mommy, you can't see the Yucky Stuff on your Potty because you have Fur and I'm little so I can see the Yucky Stuff on my Potty.


Priceless Moments of being a Mom.

Texting Mess Up

I am happy to say that this wasn't me this time, it was my husband!


We were driving down to my parents house for our annual Pumpkin Carving Party the weekend before Halloween.  Blue and Ladybug were in the back seat of our Jetta.  I'm driving.  We are about half way into our 1 hour and 15 minute trip when I get this text from my husband (who is sitting next to me).


I'm Horny


I laugh softly and don't say anything (the kids are in the back and one I'm sure is listening to everything that is said).  


Hubby says


You won't believe who I sent that to before I sent it to you.


Me:
OMG!  (laughing) Who?


Hubby:
The Boy


Me:
(Hysterical laughter) What did he say?!?!


Hubby:
He said "Thanks?"


Me: 
(Laughing so hard I can't talk)


Hubby:
I text him back and said "Oops sorry that was a joke for somebody else.  LOL Sorry."


Then The Boy replies "Yes...I'm sure...."  "We'll never speak of this again"


Me nearly crying with laughter:
OMG I think I need to pull over.


Hubby:
I text him back and said only "Agreed"


Blue asked what Hubby sent and I told her honestly... 
You don't want to know, trust me, it might scar you for life.


That seriously made my trip, my day, my week and I still smile when I think of it.  I made him text me the entire text conversation so I could be sure to get the words right when I wrote this.  He reluctantly did so, 


He said horrified
You're going to tell people!?!


I said laughing:
Of course... there is no way that I can't share this!

Playing Second Fiddle

As Mothers we all have those moments where we feel like we are playing second fiddle.  When they are teenagers you are surely second to all their friends and influences from TV and the internet.  But when they are little.... there are other things/people that are higher than you are.

The other day while driving Ladybug to school with Pink the the front seat, Ladybug says:

Mommy!  I miss my Daddy.


I say:

I know Honey, he misses and loves you too.


Ladybug says:

He's my favorite!


I say:

Your favorite what?  (she has said he's her favorite Daddy before)

Ladybug says:

He's my favorite person!  


My thought... "OMG, I do EVERYTHING for you, cook, clean, make sure you are fed, loved and comfortable in life and he's your FAVORITE!?"

I say:

That's wonderful Ladybug.


Damn... I am SO proud of myself.

The facts of ... that time of the month

I thought that I would have more time with my little Ladybug (who is going to be 5 on Thanksgiving this year) before I had to explain to her about a period.  But damn... kids are very curious and tenacious, she never gives up.  


Tonight was the night.  I have been on my period for a while (long story I am not going to explain to the masses... just a few select friends  :~) and I didn't put away the box of tampons, it was still on the counter in the bathroom.  While Ladybug was getting ready to brush her teeth tonight she asked:


Mommy?  What are these for?


As the points to the box of tampons.... I say:


Those are tampons, you will learn about those when you get older.


Ladybug says:


But I want to learn about it, now, today.


I sigh in my head and think... I know my friends have explained this to their children at this age (and younger), I guess it's about time I explain things to her.  So I told her a condensed version of when she will have a period and why.  Maybe now I won't have incidences like this one:


We were at the movies a while back, I had to go to the bathroom.  We went into the handicapped stall because it's me and Ladybug and we need the room.  She goes first.  So when I am going she's standing there with me and says:


Mommy!!!  You poo-pooed in your panties!!!


I had started my period.  Then she says (as her first comment is echoing all around the bathroom for what seems like eternity but had to only been a second or so):


Mommy, why is it red?  Are you bleeding!!


At this point I tell her to please be quiet and look at the door (so I can take care of this myself).  


Another time we were in the bathroom out in public she says:


Mommy!!!  I see your hair on your Potty!!


OMG, it's not like I can have her wait for me when there is a lot of people in the bathroom, she has to come in the stall.... but I think from now on I will have her face the door while I go to the bathroom.