Words a Mother NEVER wants to hear her daughter say...

"Mommy, a lot of boys say that they like my panties."

A Clean Potty

Ladybug will be 5 on Thanksgiving this year.  We used to shower together (because it was easier), now she showers alone.  Like any child she has some "problems" at times with her "Potty" (that's what she calls her vagina).


For instance, I would say 7 out of 10 times she will go potty and forget to wipe.  She also likes to touch herself (again very normal for her age) and with this she sometimes get a little red.


That being said, tonight she was taking a shower and when she was done I go to check on her (still in the shower).


I ask:
Are you done?


Ladybug:
Yes


Me:
OK then it's time to get out then...  What's wrong?


Ladybug (as she's looking at her Potty)
My Potty is red.


Me:
And why is your Potty red?  (expecting her to tell me she didn't wipe and touched her Potty.)


Ladybug:
Because I touched it.


Me:
Then shouldn't you stop touching your Potty then?


Ladybug:
I was washing it Mommy.  Because there was Yucky Stuff on there.


Me:
Oh, well that's good then.  You should wash your Potty just like Mommy does.


Ladybug:
But Mommy, you can't see the Yucky Stuff on your Potty because you have Fur and I'm little so I can see the Yucky Stuff on my Potty.


Priceless Moments of being a Mom.

Texting Mess Up

I am happy to say that this wasn't me this time, it was my husband!


We were driving down to my parents house for our annual Pumpkin Carving Party the weekend before Halloween.  Blue and Ladybug were in the back seat of our Jetta.  I'm driving.  We are about half way into our 1 hour and 15 minute trip when I get this text from my husband (who is sitting next to me).


I'm Horny


I laugh softly and don't say anything (the kids are in the back and one I'm sure is listening to everything that is said).  


Hubby says


You won't believe who I sent that to before I sent it to you.


Me:
OMG!  (laughing) Who?


Hubby:
The Boy


Me:
(Hysterical laughter) What did he say?!?!


Hubby:
He said "Thanks?"


Me: 
(Laughing so hard I can't talk)


Hubby:
I text him back and said "Oops sorry that was a joke for somebody else.  LOL Sorry."


Then The Boy replies "Yes...I'm sure...."  "We'll never speak of this again"


Me nearly crying with laughter:
OMG I think I need to pull over.


Hubby:
I text him back and said only "Agreed"


Blue asked what Hubby sent and I told her honestly... 
You don't want to know, trust me, it might scar you for life.


That seriously made my trip, my day, my week and I still smile when I think of it.  I made him text me the entire text conversation so I could be sure to get the words right when I wrote this.  He reluctantly did so, 


He said horrified
You're going to tell people!?!


I said laughing:
Of course... there is no way that I can't share this!

Playing Second Fiddle

As Mothers we all have those moments where we feel like we are playing second fiddle.  When they are teenagers you are surely second to all their friends and influences from TV and the internet.  But when they are little.... there are other things/people that are higher than you are.

The other day while driving Ladybug to school with Pink the the front seat, Ladybug says:

Mommy!  I miss my Daddy.


I say:

I know Honey, he misses and loves you too.


Ladybug says:

He's my favorite!


I say:

Your favorite what?  (she has said he's her favorite Daddy before)

Ladybug says:

He's my favorite person!  


My thought... "OMG, I do EVERYTHING for you, cook, clean, make sure you are fed, loved and comfortable in life and he's your FAVORITE!?"

I say:

That's wonderful Ladybug.


Damn... I am SO proud of myself.

The facts of ... that time of the month

I thought that I would have more time with my little Ladybug (who is going to be 5 on Thanksgiving this year) before I had to explain to her about a period.  But damn... kids are very curious and tenacious, she never gives up.  


Tonight was the night.  I have been on my period for a while (long story I am not going to explain to the masses... just a few select friends  :~) and I didn't put away the box of tampons, it was still on the counter in the bathroom.  While Ladybug was getting ready to brush her teeth tonight she asked:


Mommy?  What are these for?


As the points to the box of tampons.... I say:


Those are tampons, you will learn about those when you get older.


Ladybug says:


But I want to learn about it, now, today.


I sigh in my head and think... I know my friends have explained this to their children at this age (and younger), I guess it's about time I explain things to her.  So I told her a condensed version of when she will have a period and why.  Maybe now I won't have incidences like this one:


We were at the movies a while back, I had to go to the bathroom.  We went into the handicapped stall because it's me and Ladybug and we need the room.  She goes first.  So when I am going she's standing there with me and says:


Mommy!!!  You poo-pooed in your panties!!!


I had started my period.  Then she says (as her first comment is echoing all around the bathroom for what seems like eternity but had to only been a second or so):


Mommy, why is it red?  Are you bleeding!!


At this point I tell her to please be quiet and look at the door (so I can take care of this myself).  


Another time we were in the bathroom out in public she says:


Mommy!!!  I see your hair on your Potty!!


OMG, it's not like I can have her wait for me when there is a lot of people in the bathroom, she has to come in the stall.... but I think from now on I will have her face the door while I go to the bathroom.

It's the simple things...

You know when you buy new pants and they usually will come with an extra button in a tiny bag in case one of the buttons falls off and gets lost?  Well I had just bought some new pants (for the new job... YEAH!) and never would I have dreamed that the extra button would make the impact that it did.


The other night, after Ladybug's bath, I was trying to get her to dry off, put panties and jammies on and get ready for stories before bed.  She is drying off when she stops and says:


Mommy!  What is that!


Never mind, just please dry off and get dressed, do what you need to do so we can read stories and go to bed.  


Mommy!  That is the most beautiful button I have ever seen!!  Can I open the bag and see it?


Ladybug, if you would just get dressed, brush your hair and your teeth, you can keep the button if you want.


REALLY!!!  Thank You Mommy!  You're the BEST Mommy EVER!

Text Message Mistake

There are sometimes when my stupidity amazes even me.  


Last night, at 8:37PM, I sent my mom this text:


"Earlier when I went to the girls room to talk to Cassie I opened the door and it smelled really really bad like someone had either bad gas or pooped in there.  Awful!"


at 8:38PM I receive this message from Cassie:


"Umm you sent that to me... And its Oreo's cage (Guinea Pig), I was gonna clean it today but didn't."


OMG, how embarrassing!  I seriously wanted to hide and never talk to her again.  But I replied with this:


"Cud u please please clean it soon?  I wasn't sure if u were sick or there something wrong in there.  Not like it's easy talking to someone about that kind of thing."


Then sent this one again right after that one:


"Also very sorry about that text."


She replied:


"You thought that was ME!?"


I relied:


"Wasn't sure what or who it was.  To be honest I thought your dad had spent time in there and farted a lot.  Smile.  Was kinda worried."


She relied:


"LOL its alright I'm not upset, I'll clean it tomorrow morning."


"Ok glad you're not sick or dying!  Smile.  Poor Me... I sleep in the same room as your Dad even when he has gas.  Yuck.  But its a part of getting older."


She replied:


"That sucks :/ lol haha you will get there.  Smile"


I replied:


"So will you!  LOL"


Wow... that whole situation could have turned out SO much worse than it did!  I still don't see how a guinea pig's cage can smell like human gas but oh well.  She says it wasn't her, I guess I will take her word for it.. this time.  


I never did send that text to my mom.