Ok Hubby told me that I needed to blog this and see what others say. Cassie is 15 years old and has a boyfriend. A couple months ago she talked to me about getting Birth Control because they were talking about having sex.
She stated "I'm not ready and I have told him that but I would like to be prepared for when I am ready."
Ok... So I took her to the doctor and put her on the pill, handed her some condoms and gave her the talk. You know "The Talk" about how she should wait and give this relationship time before jumping into a physical relationship with him.
She said "Yeah, I wanna wait and he says he's ok with it. It's my first time but he's done it before with his ex-girlfriends."
HOLY CRAP that's plural! I know it's not at the same time but Jesus this kid is about 16 years old. Anyway... can we say Man Slut! And he's trying to talk my daughter into it?!?!
OK again, I know she will have sex when she's ready. That might have already happened by now or it might happen today. I understand that there is nothing I can do to stop it. So I have resolved myself to this fact to educate her as much as possible and hope for the best.
That being said, here is what the guy looks like. In an effort to afford privacy and anonymity I shall do my best to describe him and not put his picture up instead.
The guy is over 6 foot tall and very "bulky". He has shoulder length hair that is white on the top crown of his head and auburn the rest of the way down and it looks like it's been at least a couple weeks since it was washed... EVERY time I see him. He has a bottom lip ring. He smokes. On their first official date on Monday (they have been dating for a couple months now but this was a date not just hanging out) Cassie dressed up in a nice green dress, did her hair and makeup in an effort to look nice for him. He.... wore a band shirt.
My main thought is/was "And she wants to possibly have sex ... with that?!?!?!?" She can completely do better. A lot better if she herself would make sure to wash her hair the way she should so it didn't look so greasy all the time, if she would ask me to trim her bangs before they hit the end of her nose so you could see her pretty face and beautiful eyes. Tell me what is the point in putting on eye make up if your hair covers it anyway?
But we have all had those guys that when looking back we think "OMG what was I thinking?!?!"
Ok I can tell you what we were thinking. "I am young and I have no self esteem. This is the best that I can get. No one better will want me. So I will take what I can get."
Now hopefully my girls (all of them have semi poor choices in guys, except Ladybug who really liked a nice little boy in preschool... but I digress) will grow up and realize that they can do better and look for someone better.
Cassie told me a while back that her BF was going to have to move to a town that is about 18 miles and more than 30 minutes away by car. I had such high hopes that this would just be a summer romance (even though it started before summer) and he would move away and they would drift apart and find other people. Then she pops that bubble and tells me:
"Oh no. He is going to be transferring to my school. He is getting his license and will be driving there from Rancho."
What the heck is his mother thinking!?! "Ok I am going to move because I found a cheaper place but I am going to give my son (who has poor grades) a car and gas money to drive back to the city we currently live in so he can go to the same school as his girl friend."
God help us that it doesn't last. There is no way that I would EVER do that for ANY of my kids. It's high school. If it's meant to be they will last through the distance. If it's not meant to be ... they will find someone else.
So anyway, like I said, I have never said anything negative about this kid... to Cassie. I know that would never ever be a good idea. I have tried to get this point across to my husband and I failed. Last night as I am getting Ladybug ready for bed I hear him in the older girls room.
"Cassie. I know you like him and I keep trying to think what bothers me about him. I think it's his hair. He needs to cut his hair. No respectable man would have hair like that. Back when I was young you only had long hair if you were a bum or homeless."
Or something similar to that. While he was talking I was thinking "OMG you are so dumb! Don't do this. Shut up, shut up, shut up!!"
After he was done I called him in the bedroom and shut the door. I told him:
"I know you don't like him and think she can do better. I agree. However, unless you want to push her to sleep with him, then I would suggest you never ever say anything negative about her choice in men again."
We had a long chat were I used that line a couple times. He finally said
"Ok you have got to stop saying that. I think when you say that you need to bite your tongue so hard that a huge chunk comes off. You should only be able to make statements like that once a year."
LMAO! Let's all say it together. Denial!!! If I don't think about it, it's not happening.
Heck I have a 4 year old and I think up til the time I got pregnant my Dad still probably wanted to believe that I was a virgin, but he is a little realistic about things and probably knew I wasn't. I personally think that the mothers that I know are more practical and realistic about the life of their children. Men, are sissies.
I think this Blog has turned out differently than my Husband expect. I don't think I will advise him to read it. He doesn't know she's on Birth Control.
It's been a while since I have written anything and for those of you who don't know (and I am thinking most of you do) the reason for this has been an extremely painful Kidney Infection.
Now, let me start off with I know I have a very high pain threshold and can usually stand to ignore pain. I was in labor all day on Thanksgiving Day with no one the wiser, as I helped prepare the meal for my kids in between contractions. My husband didn't even know until 9:30 that night, that I was in labor. I went to the hospital the next morning at 8 and went through labor as long as I could stand it until 12 when I got my epidural (Thank God for that!) and had my beautiful little pain in the ass girl at 4:08 PM the Friday after Thanksgiving in 2006.
I am of the opinion, personally, that labor is much better than a Kidney Infection. First thing is, with labor, at least I knew what it was! I wasn't sure what was wrong with me with the KI, I had back pain that started on Tuesday night after Ladybug was in bed, then the achiness that you get with a fever but no real fever until the next afternoon, my feet were ice cold no matter what I did and I was nauseous. Even though I am on the 5 year birth control plan... I thought I might be pregnant because the cold feet and everything else (besides back pain) was just like my first trimester. By Thursday I could not deal with the pain any longer. I got Pink to watch Ladybug and off I went to the Rite Aid Sutter Express Care center. They told me to go to Urgent Care (which didn't open for a couple more hours).
My cousin Rose called me on my way back home and told me that she thought I had a Kidney Infection. I decided to go to Urgent Care anyway because the pain was so intense and non-stop, (unlike labor which comes and goes) that I knew that since Advil, Tylenol, and Aleve weren't helping at all that I needed better pain drugs at minimum.
An hour or so later I was waiting in the hallway for the Urgent Care to open, pacing back and forth because at least the pain was a bit bearable if I wasn't standing still. I finally was seen about 40 minutes later. The guy that took my weight etc. greeted me like an old friend "Hey! It's been a while since we saw you. How are the kids!" My thought is it's a great thing that they haven't seen me, means my kids and I are mostly healthy.
I was in the room for about 15 minutes before the Dr came in. I had seen him before and when he came in he said "Hi! How are you doing?" I figured he meant generally "doing" not currently, since I was there. We chatted a bit about how things were going and he took my blood pressure and it was 120/68 which is AWESOME for me. I was thrilled. He asked me to leave a "sample" for them to test. After I was done and back in my room I text messaged my husband and my mom this:
"My blood pressure was AWESOME at 120/68, but I peed orange. That can't be good."
The doctor finally came back in the room.
He said "Hey, how are you feeling?"
"Like Shit! Sorry, Doc, but I seriously am in a lot of pain here so I am done being polite." I replied.
He said "That makes sense, you have a Kidney Infection. I am going to give you a painful shot of antibiotics, prescribe you oral antibiotics to take at home and give you something for pain as well."
I asked how much it was going to cost, I don't have insurance.
He said "Well, if we don't do the shot you will likely end up being admitted to the hospital. As it is if you are not feeling better tomorrow you will have to go into the ER."
"OK, give me the shot." I said. (I figure the visit to Urgent care, the shot, urine test, etc. is all a lot cheaper than being admitted in the hospital).
He mentioned again how painful the shot would be, it would take ten minutes to mix up and he would be back to give me the shot "in my hip" (AKA my ass).
"With as much pain as I am in now, the shot can't be any worse." I said.
He just mentioned again that it would be very painful but it was the only option.
15 minutes later (OMG I wanted to go out and grab someone, anyone to help with the pain), he comes back in with the shot. I am laying on the table trying to "rest" when he walks in.
"Oh you poor thing!" He says.
I get down, drop a side of my pants, and he says "This is going to hurt, I am sorry. Are you ready?"
"No, but go ahead anyway." I say
He sticks me and I feel NOTHING, no pain, no sting of the needle, nothing at all.
He says "You should be feeling a burning pain down your leg, how are you feeling?"
"I'm good, I don't feel anything. I told you that the shot couldn't be worse than how I am feeling right now, I meant it." I said.
He replies "OK just checking, how about now?"
Still good... didn't hurt at all I swear!
He says "OK I will tell you a story."
"Well, since you are the only person in a very long time who has seen my ass besides my daughter and my husband, go for it." I said (can you all tell that I use humor to distract myself from bad situations?)
He laughed and asked me to sit down on the table. He says:
"I had a patient that was big, HUGE, more than 6 foot, bulky. I had to give him the same kind of shot I just gave you and I told him it would hurt. He said Pain, I can deal with pain. When I gave him the shot he was very quiet. When I was done I looked up and saw him fall back and land on top of me. He passed out because of the pain. I had to call for help to get him off of me."
OMG, I was laughing. But see, Men ... they can't handle real pain. They think they can but seriously they are huge babies in comparison to women.
After a quick trip to Walmart to pick up the drugs, I went home and rested. The next morning I felt a little better, I took my meds and went back to bed while Ladybug watched Dora on my computer. About 40 minutes later, my tummy wasn't feeling that great. I ended up getting sick because I was stupid and didn't eat before taking the meds (I seriously should know better), which didn't help my Kidney pain at all. In fact, the pain meds were only worked for 90 minutes and they were supposed to be taken every 4-6 hours. I was not a happy camper.
On Friday night I told my husband that I was pretty sure he would have to take me to the ER the next morning. I went to bed early. Later that evening, he came in the bedroom and was changing into jeans and a t shirt from his "house clothes". I asked him where he was going. He told me, "To go see a movie."
I was pissed, here I am, sick, in pain, thinking for sure I am going to need Emergency help the next day and what does he think... Gee that's great, she's sleeping so I'm going to the movies.
Nice, really. He asked if he should stay home.
"No, GO, watch a movie, have fun, eat POPCORN!" I replied.
I was not a happy person at all. He went to the movies, I stayed home in bed.
The next morning we did go to the ER, they pumped me full of IV fluids and antibiotics, and gave me a Morphine like medication. It helped pretty good, but wore off very fast. They gave me better pain drugs and said I was getting better (my pee was no longer orange).
I am happy to say that I am feeling MUCH better now. I am finished with my antibiotics and no longer need the pain meds. I am very pissed that I missed the 4th of July party at my moms house. I worked so hard on the flower beds and didn't get to hear what people said about them, or show them off to my own family.
Oh well, next weekend I am going back to weed the flower beds at my parents house on Sunday and also do my grandma's weeding for her on Saturday. Sure wish I lived closer to them. Maybe someday.
